When it comes to establishing legal precedents, nobody beats #FloridaMan. Well, why not? We live on dry patches raised from swamps, share our backyards with alligators, bobcats, assorted varieties of venomous snakes, and mosquitoes the size of sparrows, and spend half of each year dodging lightning while anticipating arrival of The Big One that will restore the peninsula to its pre-Oligocene status beneath the Atlantic Ocean.
When your existence could end with your next stroll by the neighborhood flood-control pond, a loose grip on your passions accompanies the allure of no state income tax. Thus does #FloridaMan exist — indeed, is frequently extolled — in contemporary American mythology.
Which brings us to Donald J. Trump, who, like many a #FloridaMan, arrived on Florida’s golden shores from somewhere else, only to fully embrace the expectations of unbridled tomfoolery for which this long shank of limestone is noted.
Now the Mandrake of Mar-a-Lago — at the moment, the very most #FloridaMan of all #FloridaMen — has gone and gotten himself indicted by a Manhattan grand jury for heaven-knows-what. Presumably something about paying hush money to a porn star over an alleged affair that news of which might have muddled his path to the White House in 2016, but we won’t know for sure until the indictment is unsealed.
Anyway, there Trump stands, the first ex-president indicted by a grand jury. Stronger still, the first twice-impeached president indicted by a grand jury. We are a nation that fetishizes precedents. We tick boxes for the first openly gay transgender person of color descended from slaves to serve as deputy undersecretary of Commerce. Is there a record for precedent-setting?
If the kerfuffle is, in fact, all about an attempt by Trump, or someone close to Trump, to camouflage said dalliance, it’s clear, in retrospect, it was money poorly invested. This is the guy, after all, who survived boasting about his worst impulses. He could gun down someone on 5th Avenue. He could grab females by their private bits.
Given their 2016 alternatives from late winter through early autumn, a critical mass of the electorate probably was willing to regard Trump’s getting busy with Stormy Daniels while his third wife was freshly delivered of his fifth child as a resume enhancement.
And that’s what makes having to stand up for Trump against a judicial roughing-up over political differences all the worse. Nonetheless, here we are, battle lines being drawn over defense of the indefensible. Because, adore him or despise him — Is there any middle ground? — Trump is a squatter tenant in every one of our heads.
*Ugh.*
Not unexpectedly, Matt Gaetz, the Panhandle congressman and Trump booster (who is himself no stranger to accusations of sleazy behavior), lambasted Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg for pursuing a “politically motivated prosecution” … a “witch hunt.”
https://twitter.com/RepMattGaetz/status/1641558943829729284
Gov. Ron DeSantis, surfing increasingly turbulent breakers ahead of his presumed announcement for pursuit of the Republican nomination, declared his administration prepared to offer zero assistance to New York.
“The weaponization of the legal system to advance a political agenda turns the rule of law on its head. It is un-American,” DeSantis said on Twitter. “The Soros-backed Manhattan District Attorney has consistently bent the law to downgrade felonies and to excuse criminal misconduct. Yet, now he is stretching the law to target a political opponent.”
“Florida will not assist in an extradition request given the questionable circumstances at issue with this Soros-backed Manhattan prosecutor and his political agenda.”
https://twitter.com/GovRonDeSantis/status/1641575007552778243
Eyes were on DeSantis, not just as a contender for the 2024 GOP presidential nomination, but for his jab last week — “I don’t know what goes into paying hush money to a porn star to secure silence over some type of alleged affair” — that prompted a fresh round of he’s-disloyal charges among Trump sycophants.
Other top Florida Republicans readily decried what they regarded as Bragg’s abuse of power.
Attorney General Ashley Moody declared herself “heartbroken by the damage this targeted prosecution will do to the integrity of our justice system. It is a sad day in the story of the United States.”
https://twitter.com/AGAshleyMoody/status/1641563960271859712
Here’s Sen. Rick Scott, a former Sunshine State governor: “First, our media was overrun by the left, then our government was weaponized by the Democrats, and now our legal system has been completely upended by a Soros-funded district attorney who is targeting a political opponent while letting violent criminals run rampant across NYC.
“I fully support speaker McCarthy’s efforts to investigate this. We are now living in a nation where people can’t trust the legal process, FBI, DOJ, or IRS…and I will do all I can in the Senate to support @SpeakerMcCarthy’s efforts. I call on Senate leadership to do the same.”
https://twitter.com/SenRickScott/status/1641586132537208838
Now Sen. Marco Rubio: “The deranged obsession & irrational fixation of Trump haters has resulted in a marxist, soft on crime DA setting a dangerous new precedent in America[.]
“As other nations have learned the hard way the road of political prosecutions is a two way street with no exit ramps[.]”
https://twitter.com/marcorubio/status/1641793238586499073
And so it has gone all along the Sunshine State’s GOP waterfront.
U.S. Rep. Mario Diaz-Balart, a Miami-Dade/Collier County Republican, decried the reported action — and asserted it was aimed at hurting Trump for political reasons, not the legalities of what he may have done.
“The indictment of former President Trump by a rogue, left-wing radical prosecutor & his rubber stamp grand jury, that refuse to prosecute violent crime in NY, is yet another dangerous, shameless, and politically-motivated attack on the Rule of Law,” Diaz-Balart wrote on Twitter.
“Silencing, threatening, and arresting opposition candidates is common in authoritarian dictatorships but something we must never tolerate in the United States of America,” Diaz-Balart added.
Finally, here’s Republican notable Jimmy Patronis, the state’s chief financial officer and likely 2026 gubernatorial candidate:
“NEW YORK IS A BANANA REPUBLIC!”
https://twitter.com/JimmyPatronis/status/1641558460067205121
Meanwhile, by all accounts, Trump remains the righteously indignant martyr, the hero of the people perpetually undermined by sinister forces. Now it’s a county district attorney “doing Joe Biden’s dirty work … [a] Witch-Hunt [that] will backfire massively.”
And he’s fundraising off the claim. Because of course he is.
Well. You can believe the backfire scenario if you want to. But while Trump wages this latest battle against sinister forces opposing the American people, perhaps the American people who matter most over the next 15 months or so — voters who will select the next GOP nominee for president — will choose a fresh path away from the drama that surrounds the most #FloridaMan of all #FloridaMen.
