This bracing slap of reality comes to us from Prager University, which could be boiled down to these six words: Put not your trust in princes. If you’re voting for someone because “they’ll fight for us,” or “they’ll take care of our problems,” then comedian Adam Carolla has a couple of more words for you — wake the hell up. There are many good reasons to vote, and perhaps even a couple of good candidates to choose, but don’t fall for these kinds of electoral come-on lines.

Just remember, Carolla says, we can solve our own problems. We live in America!

For now, anyway …

Carolla makes this excellent point about the similarities between politicians’ promises and … daytime television:

The same people that say they’re going to fight for you are the same people trying to get you free crap when you won’t get off your ever enlarging butt that’s now melding and becoming one with your sofa.

Fixing your screwed up life is not the government’s job. And by the way, when does the government do a good job at fixing anything? I mean, I live in Los Angeles. We pay the most in taxes, and we get the least in education.

I want the government to do stuff that I can’t do. Stop a war, end a plague. That kind of stuff . Stuff involving me? Stuff involving my family? Stuff involving my community? I can handle that.

And Carolla holds his best argument for the end:

So let’s review. I’m not going to tell you who to vote for. I’ll tell you who not to vote for. Don’t vote for the guy who says he’s going to get rid of all your problems, take care of you, and tuck your kids in at night

You see, humans need challenges to overcome, just like a muscle needs resistance to grow. In a zero gravity environment an astronaut’s muscles atrophy because there is no resistance. The government giving you a bunch of handouts and living your life for you is basically the equivalent of doing pushups in outer space.

“Look ma I can clap five times just like Rocky in between sets!”

Big government is like the void of space. It’s massive, constantly expanding and if we immerse ourselves in it, we’ll simply wither away.

Maybe we should vote for Adam Carolla. He’ll fight — to get you off your rear end. That’s a promise worth making.