Kein Schnitzel for You: Angela Merkel Is Very Disappointed

Jesco Denzel/German Federal Government via AP

As if Germans didn't have enough on their plates...or maybe too little is the problem.

In any event, how they've gotten on since she left them has been a massive disappointment to their loving Mutti Merkel, former forever Chancellor, Angela Merkel.

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She sounds a little Eeyore-ish these days and, much like another famous chider of the citizens he used to lead, has written a book to let them know she expected much better.

I mean, how could they? After everything she did for them, short of leaving a pie graph.

Are you still looking for Christmas presents? I have a fashionable doorstopper to recommend to you, courtesy of the former German chancellor Angela Merkel. Sure, technically it is not a doorstopper but a “Memoir.” In this memoir she accuses the German people of not being curious enough about foreign cultures, and laments that Germany is not “that great” for migrants anyway. So what would be more fitting than using the book written by the person who kept Germany’s borders open also to keep your doors open? Angela Merkel has now become the Eastern German version of Barack Obama: Both politicians never viewed themselves as serving their people, but as benevolent patriarchs (or matriarchs) lording over undeserving subjects.

You might think I am exaggerating, but I really am not. In a 2017 piece, Politico writes about the journey of the childless Ms. Merkel from Mädchen (girl) to Mutti (Mom). In 2021, a columnist of the left-leaning German weekly Der Spiegel wrote an entire book titled Mutti wars nicht (“It was not Mom’s fault”), trying to exonerate her for the disastrous migration policies that began in 2015. Reading through her memoirs makes one realise that we got her all wrong. You see, it is not her who has disappointed us, but we are the disappointment to her. The title of her book is one word: Freedomwhich is ironic, given that since her tenure, the German’s are less free than ever. Women are no longer free to walk in the streets, Jews and gays are no longer free to move around in certain parts of the city, Germany energy companies are no longer free to use nuclear power, and German companies are no longer free to do business. Maybe Ms. Merkel means “Freedom” in the same sense that the German Democratic Republic – the former East Germany – in which she grew up was “democratic.” 

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She was too good for them, and she knows it.

The book reimagines famous moments in time. 

Merkel now insists she knew all along that Putin was a bad hombre but sort of skips over the part where she anchored German energy security - and, by extension, their entire economy - to the Russian dictator.

Remember laughing Germans when Trump warned them?

Angela doesn't, but Pepperidge Farm does. 

It was the 'cheap' gas that got her.

...Merkel, when asked why, in 2015, a year after the Russian annexation of Crimea, she did not block the Nord Stream 2 gas pipeline project, replied:

- I wanted to ensure that the German economy could take advantage of the opportunity to have cheap gas. And let's see today what are the consequences for Germany of high energy costs.

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Germans, in concert with the European Union, were once balanced competitors with the United States.

What happened during the Merkel years? Say - how has that worked out, those 'consequences'?

Much like her equestrian statue...

...they all fell down.

Even as challenged as the United States is at this moment, the EU, and particularly the Germans as they battle a vicious deindustrialization trend, cannot hope to compete. They're in the 'hope to survive' stage.

Then again, competition wasn't Mutti Merkel's thing.

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...She said that meeting with Trump always felt like a "competition." 

“The more people there were in the room, the greater was his urge to be the winner," she said. 

"You can’t chat with him. Every meeting is a competition: you or me."

Trump's outgoing, dominant personality was so foreign to Merkel that the Communist from the former East Germany said she had to ask the Pope for guidance on how to deal with the strong American president.

I look at it as sort of an indictment of American voters that Trump was the first president she couldn't push around. That's terrible.

And, yes - Merkel's horribly disappointed in the United States for re-electing him.

...Merkel added: "Donald Trump was obsessed with what he thought were too many German cars in New York. He always said that if he became president, he would impose tariffs so high that they would disappear from the streets of Manhattan. In his eyes, I embodied Germany."

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I hate to break it to her - Trump is 'normal.'

That's why she's so disappointed in his reelection and sad about normal German people at long last rejecting the ruinous path she set the country on.

She has never had a clue what normal was to begin with.

Little did she realize, even had she cared, 'normal' is all people anywhere have ever really wanted. 

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