There's Something About Gwen Walz: 'Well, She's As Nutty As Squirrel Poop for One Thing'

AP Photo/Matt Rourke

A week ago, when last we saw the vibrant and quite possibly vibrating Mrs Walz, wife of Democratic vice-presidential nominee Gov Tim "Whoppers" Walz, she was on her way to a campaign event in Maine until a slight burp derailed her plans.

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It seems the Harris campaign sent word, via her tongued-tied and extremely unlucky husband, that voters were finding her manner....what was that delicate word? Ah. "Overbearing." 

That's it.

And, the Harris campaign wondered if the otherwise delightful and enchanting Mrs. Walz would be so kind as to cool her jets a tad and not scare off any more potential voters at this next event. Harris needed every single one they could muster and had no margin for turn-offs.

That sort of thing is hard for a girl to hear, you know, even gently delivered by a loving spouse. 

Naturally, Gwen took it badly and said fugeddaboutit. She wouldn't be going to ME after all - they could send someone nicer.

I guess she must have stewed about it a little bit - who wouldn't? I have fits here routinely. 

But being the trooper she is, she's back on the campaign trail with the rest of the misfit toys. And what a foursome - Cackles and Whoppers headlining the cast with second bananas Boinker/Bonker Doug and little Gwen rounding it out. Democrats have to be so proud.

I also have a gut feeling about the events that got her into hot water to begin with, that she felt energized by the attention and the throngs - it's only human nature. They don't talk about the addictive thrill of the 'roar of the crowds' and the 'smell of the greasy burning tires' for nothin', you know.

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It's a real thing. It gets under your skin.

She's back in serious discussion formats, explaining how tampons in boys' bathrooms break down barriers to life skills like...say...reading. I'm sure it makes some sort of Randi Weingarten logic, costs a fortune to boot, and not a soul learns to read.

...If that's tampons, it's tampons...

Hey - she's the teacher. Who are we to question? All I will add is that the poor woman (Katie Couric, maybe?) doing the interview looks as if she has had a sudden intestinal upset, and the eye-roll was a nice touch.

Put two progressive Democrat "English" teachers together for a campaign, and what do you get?

Well...I don't know exactly. 

They were up in Traverse City, MI, together the day before yesterday.

Efforts to get out the early vote are underway across Michigan.

In Traverse City, First Lady Jill Biden and First Lady of Minnesota Gwen Walz were in town Monday to motivate canvassers who will go knock on doors.

“Ultimately, this election will profoundly affect women — our ability to make health care decisions, to buy homes and to put food on our tables and to live in a country where we celebrate that our differences are precious and our similarities are infinite,” Biden said, speaking to a packed room of over 100 supporters in the Grand Traverse Commons.

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That cracked me up - a "packed" room of over 100 whole supporters, huh?

Way to draw a crowd, ladies.

(I know. That's a garbage take.)

Gwen's been hitting Hollywood, too for glitzy gay fundraisers, so the campaign must either have forgiven her or need whatever and whoever they can get. 

Tim Walz’s wife, Gwen Walz, made a campaign stop Tuesday night at legendary West Hollywood LGBTQ bar The Abbey.

“Tim and I are used to being at dance parties, but usually we’re chaperoning,” Minnesota’s first lady quipped when she first walked on stage.

The event, officially billed as “A Dance Party for Kamala With Mrs. Gwen Walz,” raised more than $100,000 for the Harris-Walz campaign, according to event co-chair Todd Hawkins.

“As you’ve heard, we have one week until Election Day and that seems very hard to believe” Gwen Walz said. “I can see a little anxiety in your eyes but know this — I would rather be us than them.”

I had begun to mourn, believing the weirdness had been beaten out of her for the campaign's sake, and all the fun from Gwen watching was no more. 

Until I caught this Gwen gem last night.

Ah, my faith has been restored.

Gwen Walz says she usually has her hand mixer in her luggage.

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I must admit, this is the first time I have ever heard of anyone doing that.

It's nowhere near as frightening as the other things she's said and done, which is probably why it seems ten times more bizarre.

IS THAT A HANDMIXER IN YOUR CARRY ON OR ARE YOU JUST GLAD TO SEE ME?

I am almost going to be sorry when she heads back to the wilds of Burning Tireville.

ALMOST.

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