HOLY SMOKES

It's funny how sometimes I'll get tickled by something I see trending on X, send a goofy Xweet out about it, and - lo and behold - hours later, it turns out to have been a sign from the gods that I was supposed to write about it all along.

And for the life of me, I can't break away from the trainwreck that is the Harris campaign for love nor money. 

So, what happened earlier was this. I had been giggling about a truly ghastly clip of Harris trying to answer Anderson Cooper on this Xweet from a friend. I mean, he nails her with "stumbling." 

Kamala's the cheerleader who's only ever learned - and is only capable of learning - the rah-rahs to chirp with the rest of the girls.

This is unbelievably awkward on every level, from her waiting for cheers that never came to her stumbling around trying to figure out how to reconcile her two non-compatible positions… good lord this woman has been in POLITICS for most of her adult life pic.twitter.com/H7Xugg76sM

— Enguerrand VII de Coucy (@ingelramdecoucy) October 24, 2024

She is not and never will be solo material, proving time and time again she's untrainable. Independant and freewheeling discussion is completely beyond her scope.

Right after we had this little conversation, a trending item popped up which perfectly encapsulated my thoughts.

Kamala Harris performs in a limited capacity and is excruciatingly bad at that. 

This headline has it exactly right. Beyonce wouldn't be "appearing" with Kamala; she was just part of the scripted show. Another "performer" on the stage.

I think that phrasing's just about perfect, don't you?

Harris is nothing more than a badly trained hack who couldn't pull a crowd on her own to save her life. pic.twitter.com/3uM83X6HQw

— tree hugging s*ster 🎃 (@WelbornBeege) October 24, 2024

One coincidence led to another and wouldja lookey here.

🚨BREAKING: Lizzo charged the Harris-Walz campaign $2.3 million for a single appearance at a Detroit rally.

Imagine what $2.3 million could have done for the victims of the hurricanes.

— Jack (@jackunheard) October 23, 2024

Do you mean to tell me the other day that the tasteless sashay of that creature out to her private jet and the taunts to the "ho's" about voting for Kamala wasn't from Lizzo's tiny heart...? It wasn't...real Kamala "bad b*tch" love...at all?

This was [Beege adds: reportedly ] bought and paid for?

Lizzo shows off her private jet as she heads to Detroit to campaign for Kamala Harris.

“This is how a bad b*tch saves democracy. You ho’s couldn’t even spell democracy.” pic.twitter.com/tji0O0KXLc

— Oli London (@OliLondonTV) October 19, 2024

Oh, ick.

I FEEL SO USED

Actually, who should feel used and want to crawl in a hole would be the Harris campaign. One would think.

I mean, I knew Kamala wasn't popular - droves of down-ballot candidates are avoiding her campaign stops like the plague. But I didn't realize she was "Momma had to tie a porkchop around my neck to get the dog to play with me/buy me friends" unpopular.

And the brilliant campaign strategists buying Kamala those stage friends paid $2.3M for THIS? Money grows on trees.

Wow! Lizzo just said "If Kamala wins the entire country will be like Detroit."pic.twitter.com/USeAJ5DnEA

— aka (@akafacehots) October 19, 2024

Exhibit A shows why Democrats are renowned for spending boatloads of cash wisely. Let this compensated endorser open her unscripted mouth. What do you get?

Lizzo: “If Kamala wins, the whole country will be like Detroit.”

Detroit: pic.twitter.com/BSoSz7PX30

— Clandestine (@WarClandestine) October 20, 2024

That's the positive message I'm sure they all wanted the country to hear!

No car chargers, no cell phone service, no innerwebs, and now "make America Detroit."

YOU GO, GIRL

As far, far away as possible.

I have also heard a second postulation bandied about concerning some of these celebrity endorsements for Harris that might not have anything to do with money and everything to do with self-preservation in the event of her actually winning this thing.

It falls under the old "currying favor" file name.

Many of them, either themselves or their spouses, have close connections to P Diddy and his infamous get-togethers.

Jay Z and Diddy partied hard for Diddy's 50th.
Here is a photo of them: PHOTOGRAPHY BY CARLOS “KAITO” ARAUJO pic.twitter.com/Tz9tytRbiv

— Theresa Longo Fans (@BarkJack_) October 21, 2024

Now, I wouldn't know either way, but I can do that math.

No doubt there are a lot of calculations going on right about now and a lot of Maalox being gulped because all the money, paid-for friends, and performances in the world can't seem to pull this sorry sack of potatoes over the finish line.

Axios reports that the #Harris campaign and other Democratic groups spent $1 billion on ads over the past three months.

It looks like it's having the opposite of the intended effect. pic.twitter.com/AU1AAoyI06

— Silicon Strategies (@siliconstrat) October 23, 2024

WELCOME BACK, MY FRIENDS, TO THE SHOW THAT NEVER ENDS

WE'RE SO GLAD YOU COULD ATTEND

...COME INSIDE, COME INSIDE