I'd say it was "Florida Man Friday," but although the criminals were from South Florida, this happened just over the border past the Floribama - Gulf Shores, Alabama.

We got kind of a chuckle out of it after a sincere "VURT DA FURK?"

And it certainly goes to show the enterprising criminal nature of some of our visitors. They will find a way to steal and sell things we simple Redneck Riviera residents were wholly unaware were worth a damn thing at all, and illegal to harvest to boot!

Everyone in these parts has always thought palmettos were native annoyances that pop up willy-nilly in the backyard - scrappy, ratty, pain-in-the-butt, potentially painful, tough-as-nuts shrubberies. Partially because of them, I have always had a soft spot in my heart for the first Spanish explorers who slogged through our swamps here on the Panhandle.

Lord, it had to be God-awful. Those wool uniforms and leather with armor, in this heat, and humidity, the massive alligators, sneks, and poisonous bugs, all covered by vegetation that slices you to bits, ensuring there's a blood trail for anything wanting a snack to follow and find you.

Palmettos make up a goodly portion of that unforgiving, impervious natural wall that even modern suburban lawns can't eradicate their primordial roots. After you've spent enough wasted time burning, slashing, carving, cutting, and poisoning them - they cackle maniacally at Round-Up, taunting, "Come at me with your cute little squirter, bro" - the wicked little saber fans sproing right back at you with impunity. 

You give up and attempt to add them to your landscaping. major dad has whipped one of ours into a 20-foot beauty that looks spectacular against the big Maxfield Parrish (or are they Mordor) skies we get here some evenings.

Or you move.

All this time, who knew we were sitting on pharmaceutical globular gold?

I'll tell you who knew - these South Florida guys did. Go figure.

I mean, knock me over with a feather.

The annoying backyard wonder drug.

Palmetto berries have been used in homeopathic remedies for hair loss, prostate health, hormone balance and other ailments. Many people buy Saw Palmetto Berry Extract online or at a health food store. While seeing palmetto berries on a bush is common in the Gulf Shores area, seeing people arrested for poaching them is not.

The video of this second, earlier group of miscreants scrambling out of the van is freakin' hilarious...but THIRTY BAGS OF BERRIES? At a $10 a lb pop?

HOLY SMOKES

...This is the second berry heist in the last week in Gulf Shores. A call about a reckless driver resulted in what looked like a clown car opening up with 30 bags of the berries confiscated and more than half of dozen people escaping into the night. “I have absolutely never seen anything like this before,” added Wittstruck.

The berry is used in dietary supplements to treat everything from urinary symptoms to hair loss. It is illegal to harvest them in Florida without a permit. They can sell for up to 10 dollars a pound.

It is illegal for multiple reasons, including the impact on wildlife and the rate it takes for the berry to grow.

So what actually got them busted in Alabama was the pot they had on them, but the Gulf Shores cops are holding them right now to see if the feds want to press charges. They were busted at a national wildlife refuge.

There's no mention of ICE and I couldn't get any further information on that status.

Anyway, it seems there's no end to man's ingenuity when there's money to be made.

And now I have to wonder why, in all the years we've babied this thing, it's never grown a single berry.

VURT DA FURK?!

At least no one will be climbing our fence for it. 

That's a comfort.