By the By, Britain Is Boiling

Ebola Welborn

In case you hadn't heard, besides having to deal with Rishi Sunak, mushy peas, ULEZ cameras, and Hamasholes clogging London streets on Saturdays, Britain is going to spend about a week in a climate cauldron of boiling temperatures and humidity. They're scheduled to be suffering an excruciating "blast" of heat.

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I didn't say that - they did. Right here.

New UK hot weather maps show Britain blasted by 25C Iberian plume from top to bottom

Brand new weather maps have revealed that the UK will be blasted by a 25C Iberian plume next week as the weather begins to improve and warmer temperatures mark the start of summer.

In recent weeks temperatures have been below average for the time of year with the mercury rarely rising above 20C and unsettled weather rolling across the UK. However, the new maps from Netweather have revealed that Britain will welcome warmer temperatures on June 24 all the way through to June 30.

The Mail is sounding the alarm as well. It's not a British epithet this time

BLASTED

It means to run for your lives!

Or, if the picture is any indication, they're encouraging everyone to drown themselves and get it over with.

Malthusians will rejoice across England because they never off themselves; they just want you to. This extinction event could be everything they've ever wanted.

So what does an "Iberian plume" (besides being Spanish, well...we knew they were hot stuff anyway)(Javier Bardem, GAH-RROWWLLL) mean in terms of boiling temps for our poor, pasty-faced British cousi...oh.

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That lurid, world-ending, sun-dried blood burgundy color is for all of...82°F?!

LAUGHS IN FLORIDA PANHANDLE

Surely they jest.

But they're not and even have the nerve to pile on with "But you've never experienced our HIGH HUMIDITY with temperatures like this!"

LAUGHS IN COASTAL CAROLINA AND FLORIDA PANHANDLE 

Who are these weenies kidding?

And mind you - these are the same insufferable NetZero scolds who live to righteously chew on Americans about their air conditioning without ever once taking latitude into account - and it does matter. 

Practically knocking at the Arctic Circle's door and who are now blubbering and cowering at the thought of a few of what we would consider warmish days.

It would also help them immensely if they learned what "ventilation" was when they construct homes, but since they're so superior and know so much better than we do what they're about...call a waahmbulance.

England wasn't always teetering on the edge of collective hysteria over a mildly warm day, even as far back as seven whole years ago. But then again, the climate cultists hadn't yet gotten their poison clutches into the national media, less mind the British government's consciousness turned into policy, and voilà.

Maps got the fiery orange and scary red treatment for an effect to illustrate temps that never had them before.

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Why were they suddenly boiling red?

Because the Climate Change narrative needed them scary af to herd the population into their NetZero mandates chamber.

It's been working ever since...well, it was.

People are a good deal more informed now, they're tired of watching their once comfortable middle-class lives get turned upside down and dumped in the Third World for an apocalypse that never happens and never ends.

They are also starting to remember, through all the constant guilt trips and browbeating over their selfishness, that they've seen many of these conditions before in their earlier lives. That sort of awakening starts to get people thinking maybe someone's not been exactly truthful about what's happening or what really needs to be done to save us all.

Maybe it's all been just that much codswallop.

Being a diligent reporter and knowing we have our very own meteorologist living 100 miles to the west of London, I quizzed Ebola* when he called us Saturday how he was surviving the boiling.

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"Whut?"

He got a huge kick out of all the "BLASTED" headlines and tweets I sent him explaining my question, particularly as they'd all been in sweaters for a hike that very morning.

Then he sent the beautiful photo of the meadow flowers that's at the top of this post.

BEFORE THEY BURST INTO FLAMES

I kid, I kid.

Speaking of our kid - he'll let us know when it gets really hot, hot, hot - trust me.

Everyone needs to take a chill pill when it gets a little warm. How about that prescription?


* Our son was one of the very first computer and gaming savants in the early 90s, winning tournaments and designing "skins" for games not long after Al Gore invented the innerwebs. Unfortunately, he also had a knack for catching the first viruses. One was so virulent that it wiped his computer and all of my work and required one of his father's computer geeks to come from base with a DoD program to finally exterminate it. His uncle Bingley nicknamed him "Ebola," and it has been his nom-de-innerwebs ever since.



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Beege Welborn 5:00 PM | December 24, 2024
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