I want to cry.

This is so scream-out-loud hysterical that I can't even see straight. But so God blessed sad a commentary on the vacuous dolts coming out of colleges and preaching to the rest of us, it makes me weep.

A little background in case you were out of touch, working or something today, and missed the interesting happenings. New Jersey had an earthquake. They're rare but do happen there. 

My dad is a barber in Flanders, NJ. He sent me this video of the earthquake happening while he was cutting hair. Wow! pic.twitter.com/cWdwiJH045

— Riley Winch (@RileyWinchWx) April 5, 2024

This one was pretty solid - 4.8 - for a region that's not used to rattle and roll.

4.8 magnitude earthquake centered in Lebanon, NJ — and felt in NYC — per early data and QuakeFeed app pic.twitter.com/RL7RUpbo88

— Dan Diamond (@ddiamond) April 5, 2024

Brother Bingley was working from home, and he said the slab under the house "was rockin'!" Oh, I'll bet. I figure because he's close to the epicenter and the quake was a relatively shallow .6 mi, the later aftershocks this evening have been strong enough to... 

"Put whitecaps on my bourbon!"

Won't anyone save my baby brother?!

Meanwhile, being the grandstanding creature that she is, NY Gov Kathy Hochul immediately tried to make it all about them in the city. 

She's been getting dragged like a 3-week old bag of laundry out of the barracks on a Saturday morning.

It’s called New Jersey. It’s ok to say the name.

— George Daniel (@GeorgeJDaniel) April 5, 2024

They don't call it "Cheesequake" in New Jersey for nothin', and they're keeping it. 

New Jerseyans were mixed on their reactions to the quake, but most everyone seemed to agree it was way different once they had a chance to think about it.

Some people should have thought about it a little more before offering their thoughts.

GOD BLESS NJ POLITICIANS

They still have Gold Bar Bob, and now?

May I present Climate Crisis Christina, NJ's Green Party candidate for the US Senate. 

She seems to have experienced the ultimate revelation in a moment of personal danger and emotional upheaval SO PROFOUND it caused her to see Truth™ and Science™ all in one blinding moment of clarity.

Like a bolt of say-something-stupid lightning, straight to the gourd.

So she shared it with the world.

I experienced my first earthquake in NJ. We never get earthquakes. The climate crisis is real.

The weirdest experience ever.

— Christina Amira Khalil (@Christina4NJ) April 5, 2024

This Science™ loving chica has the intellectual depth of a teaspoon...

...and problems following her own advice.

Hochul should send this girl a gift basket.

I experienced my first Deviled Egg here in Nashville. The climate crisis is real.

— Aaron Reale (@AaronCReale) April 5, 2024

 Christina's getting dragged so badly, she's got to be taking some of the heat off of the NY governor. Not to mention, she's also getting quite a history lesson in the Ramapo Fault Line and Mid-Atlantic quakes in general.

She could be dangerous if she paid attention to any of it, but she won't because all the science and facts have ruined her narrative.

Meme in the making.

Or congresswoman.