Holy smokes – Gov Gavin Newsom’s excuse if he flamed out in last night’s debate was built right into the packaging he insisted on.

So how’d last night verbal rumble go for the oleaginous, smooth talking, Randall Flagg-lite from the Golden Boy state?

What I saw of his performance was neither pretty nor impressive, and a quick trip around the innerwebs this morning – including our own Karen’s terrific wrap-up here – seems to confirm my initial take. Twitter was replete with DeSantis high-fives and highlights, and some of this morning’s headlines have been fun, too.

USA Today thought DeSantis had the edge…

Freedom wins: In red vs. blue state debate, DeSantis offers best case for successful governing

…while, hysterically, at Newsom’s hometown paper, the reporter was simply terrified out of her Lululemon’s by the toxic masculinity of whole thing.

Who won the debate between Newsom and DeSantis?
Unhinged male rage

Oh, dear GOD, there is no hope for that place.

But the general consensus of most rational (and irrational) folks I follow is that Gavin Newsom flamed out spectacularly in national primetime. Maybe even more bigly than even we expected him to, which is saying a lot.

Afterwards, my governor looked pretty darn buoyant for a guy who’d just gone through a ninety minute rock ’em, sock ’em session. He practically bounded to the podium.

Looking pretty chipper.💝 https://t.co/8WvteSpwr8

— tree hugging s*ster 🎃 (@WelbornBeege) December 1, 2023

Now, there had been an offer from Hannity to continue on last night, past the agreed upon 90 minute format, and initially both governors were all set to keep going after each other.

That was fun — I could have kept going!

— Gavin Newsom (@GavinNewsom) December 1, 2023

But something happened after they’d both said yes.

…Neither of the debaters shrank from the unorthodox contest, and both seemed eager to tack on additional time as Hannity took the broadcast into its final break. After the commercial, however, the governors were gone. Hannity explained that they had separate schedules to keep.

It turns out maybe the lovely MRS. Newsom had seen the writing on the wall, because she stepped in during the commercial break for the mercy killing. Got the shepherd’s hook out, and yanked her feisty but flailing guy the hell off that stage to stop the bleeding.

…A DeSantis aide said California first partner Jennifer Siebel Newsom was the one who stepped in and ended the debate on her husband’s behalf after Hannity invited the two governors to go deeper into overtime. A second person on the ground confirmed that.

The smoke from the debate battle scene is clearing to reveal pointing fingers of accusation from the aggrieved party.

Newsom camp: Hannity, DeSantis cheated. They dispute the charges.https://t.co/8uv9yV9MCa

— Christopher Cadelago (@ccadelago) December 1, 2023

Boy, is this a tangled mess of “They cheater cheater pantsed me!”

…Thursday’s raucous debate is giving way to bitter disappointment with and outright hostility toward Fox News and its host from the California Democrat’s camp.

Before Ron DeSantis could unveil his “poop map,” Gov. Gavin Newsom team’s frustration with Sean Hannity and his crew centered on his promises to them that he would be a fair moderator, only to repeatedly sandbag the governor and give the entire affair a 2-on-1 dynamic — as they saw it.

“The debate was rigged, and Newsom still won,” Newsom adviser Sean Clegg said.

Okay. Never heard anyone use THAT line before.

The Newsom team mostly lost their collective cookies over the three P’s – props, poop, and porn.

…More distrust and accusations were spilling out from the event. Hannity told Newsom staffers that both sides agreed not to bring props or graphics with them on stage — just a pen and pad of paper, they said. DeSantis’ camp says that wasn’t their understanding of the network’s rules, and DeSantis brandished allegedly lewd content permissible in California in a segment about book bans at schools.

The other document DeSantis flashed to great fanfare was a map of Newsom’s hometown of San Francisco covered in brown splotches that the Florida governor said represented places where human feces were found on the city’s streets.

“He carried around porn and poop in his suit jacket,” the Newsom aide said.

Politico acts like DeSantis made up the poop map – that the governor “said” represented blah blah. I should print several hundred of them and send them to the reporter’s office and he can figure out what the little “brown splotches” are, too.

This is also the part of the artfully crafted story where Newsom’s prearranged excuse-hatch comes into play. Was Newsom sweating a 2-1 dynamic or counting on it?

…As POLITICO previously reported, Hannity took on much of the negotiating with both Newsom and DeSantis staff given the debate’s importance to him. Newsom had predicted a 2-on-1 dynamic; a point that annoyed Hannity, who publicly and privately pledged fairness. “He needs to get over it,” Hannity said in an interview in the run-up to his debate.

Newsom still had some doubts about Hannity, but the host gave news media interviews where he said he would treat the governors as equals and expressed a genuine fondness for Newsom. The goodwill didn’t last. At one point after the debate, a Newsom adviser pulled a Fox staffer aside and took issue with the way the network conducted itself, said a witness of that exchange, who was granted anonymity to describe the confrontation.

Okay, tough guy.

Even the earlier Politico article was building Newsom up into some sort of Democratic David going against the Fox News and RDS Goliaths.

…The competing priorities pose a challenge for Hannity, who despite his own conservative politics pledged fairness to both parties and said he is trying to make his program a place where Democrats like Newsom can not only appear but punch back. Newsom is preparing to talk up President Joe Biden’s reelection campaign and lay out the choice before Americans in 2024.

“Expect him to defend the president and use the opportunity to take on the misinformation machine at its headwaters,” Newsom spokesperson Nathan Click said.

Click added Newsom is under “no illusions — this is a 2-on-1 match with the refs in the tank for the home team. But Gov. Newsom has long believed that Democrats have to go on offense in enemy territory, and that’s exactly what he intends to do.”

A bold man, that Gavin. Under enemy fire, and he will not be cowed.

So why’s he bitching like a big baby now, for conditions every Republican candidate ever in a debate has had to deal with, but he bragged about up front?

Was he going to be a big hero going in anyway? Maybe. But he would have been a bigger hero if he hadn’t botched it all by his smirktastic, lyin’ loneself. Had Newsom been able to merely hold his own, people would have given him props for bearding the lions – Fox, Hannity, Georgia, and DeSantis – in their den. Hell, he set the stage for that himself!

But he didn’t – Newsom collapsed onstage in a greasy, smoking puddle with a pair of teeth. Think the Wicked Witch melting and no hat.

And had to have his wife bail him out because he hadn’t a clue he’d been torched.

She is Newsom's Jill.

— LabbyDogFarm🐊 (@LabbyDogFarm) December 1, 2023

There is zero substance in anything he says, and certainly no record besides destruction to tout against Ron DeSantis’ accomplishments as governor.

Then Newsom compounds the error by looking like an utter fool crying foul on a disaster he rigged on his own.

I hope he buys the little woman something pret-tee to say “thanks” for saving him.

He owes her.