I love how everything we watch and figure is totally happening that we get told totally isn’t happening turns out to have totally happened.

Without fail, every. Single. Time.

Take the case of the meandering Chinese “just an errant weather balloon.” The casual American citizen, watching from the comfort of his living room, thought to themself, “Well. That totally looks like it’s under some sort of guidance control and seems to be loitering specifically over sensitive areas before it moves along in a deliberate fashion. I am somewhat suspicious of this ‘harmless lost weather balloon’ story.”

Days later, we on the couch were proven to be correct in our initial impression with the announcement that, yes, it was the spy balloon we thought it was all along, but worry not, citizens! Thoroughly Modern Milley and our betters at the Pentagon/CIA/NSA ad nauseum made sure it was blocked from being able to gather intelligence. Shut down, blinded, couldn’t do a thing, worthless.

So quit squawking about shooting it down, you redneck warmongers.

They were SO thoroughly confident about safeguarding America’s secrets from the balloon, that they continued to allow it to toodle through the airspace above the country at its leisure. In an excess of caution, they did send alerts to all the super sensitive bases in its path to keep airmen/personnel indoors and the blinds down. Just in case, mind you.

By God, we don’t mess around with national security in THE BIDEN administration. No protection measures are too extreme.

STAY INDOORS, CLOSE THE BLINDS, DON’T GO TO YOUR VEHICLES FOR LUNCH

You know what happened next. Excruciating wait as the damn thing and POTATUS all took their sweet time. Finally, the balloon slipped offshore, we sent a missile into it, and the cursed airbag sank into the briny deep for SEALs to recover.

Our long national nightmare was over.

Or so we thought (technically 2024, God willing).

To no one’s surprise, the sodden bits of what was recovered were 100% Chinese SPY balloon – electronics, controls, everything you need for an extended jaunt across the interior of the United States, and some quality loitering time over high-value targets.

We, the people of the couch, had a bad case of “DERP” – you weren’t telling us anything our lying eyes and unfailing intuition hadn’t already asserted. We are also becoming used to being told to completely discard whatever thoughts are in our head at any given moment BECAUSE WE DON’T KNOW JACK only to find, several months later, that those very thoughts were entirely correct.

Hello. Here we are today.

A real shock. While the administration watched it drift across the United States. https://t.co/Dpo0BAUmcd

— Byron York (@ByronYork) April 3, 2023

Raise your hand if you weren’t entirely confident in ANYTHING YOU GOT TOLD while the balloon was wafting above us.

NBC:

Chinese spy balloon shot down on February 4 was able to collect intelligence from several secret US military bases.

China controlled the balloon so that it could make multiple passes over some objects and transmit the collected information back to Beijing in real time. pic.twitter.com/anw1uY5tDD

— Clash Report (@clashreport) April 3, 2023

I’m over here, waving madly.

The Chinese spy balloon that flew across the U.S. was able to gather intelligence from several sensitive American military sites, despite the Biden administration’s efforts to block it from doing so, according to two current senior U.S. officials and one former senior administration official.

China was able to control the balloon so it could make multiple passes over some of the sites (at times flying figure eight formations) and transmit the information it collected back to Beijing in real time, the three officials said. The intelligence China collected was mostly from electronic signals, which can be picked up from weapons systems or include communications from base personnel, rather than images, the officials said.

The three officials said China could have gathered much more intelligence from sensitive sites if not for the administration’s efforts to move around potential targets and obscure the balloon’s ability to pick up their electronic signals by stopping them from broadcasting or emitting signals.

Well, don’t I feel better about the story – they “could have gotten more IF NOT FOR“?!

They could have gotten a WHOLE LOT LESS if they’d shot it down immediately upon confirming what it was. How ’bout them apples?

…The balloon had a self-destruct mechanism that could have been activated remotely by China, but the officials said it’s not clear if that didn’t happen because the mechanism malfunctioned or because China decided not to trigger it.

Why on earth would China blow the thing up when their toadie in our White House let it do more than they could have possibly ever, ever hoped for?

Good gravy goodness, the Chinese driving that thing probably had sore hands from all the high-fives after every move they got away with.

I thought the absolutely craven, cowardly, “BUT TRUMP HAD BALLOONS, TOO, WAAH” whining that followed (David on it here) was the icing on the pathetic incompetency cake.

Can’t wait to see the tap dancing on this. Thank God they’re arraigning Trump, no? They’d have to do more if Orange Man Bad wasn’t providing cover for them.

How convenient.

So concludes yet another round in the ongoing battle of good vs evil, better known as “Your Lyin’ Eyes vs POTATUS and toadies.”

As ever, Your Lyin’ Eyes continue their utter and complete dominance of the Pudding Patrol..