Of all the religious institutions one would expect to crumble in the face of unrelenting pressure from the alphabet fanatics, the notoriously liberal Church of England might well have been at or near the top of your list. There has been decade upon decade where the indignant howls of believers could be heard clearly across the Atlantic as one Archbishop of Canterbury or another issued some outrageous statement or edict (tres controversial Rowan Williams is the name that springs to mind immediately), even as the faithful yowled in unheeded protest.

For the present, Anglican bishops have apparently put their foot down as far as any definition of marriage: it will remain as it has been.

The Church of England will refuse to allow same-sex couples to get married in its churches under proposals set out on Wednesday in which the centuries-old institution said it would stick to its teaching that marriage is between a man and a woman.

The proposals were developed by bishops, who form one of three parts of the Church’s governing body known as the General Synod, after the Church of England’s six-year consultation on sexuality and marriage – among other subjects – and will be put to the General Synod at a meeting next month.

The Church of England is central to the wider Anglican communion, which represents more than 85 million people in over 165 countries.

“Same-sex couples would still not be able to get married in a Church of England church,” the statement said, confirming a BBC report overnight that bishops had refused to support a change in teaching to allow priests to marry gay couples.

Glad to see the Church of England showing some spine and defending traditional values when it comes to the sacred institution of marriage. https://t.co/3oEnMSb9U3

— Dr Rakib Ehsan (@rakibehsan) January 18, 2023

This has been the culmination of a contentious six-year-long, ongoing debate among the Anglican bishops, and, while remaining true to the traditional church tenet regarding marriage, don’t think for a hot minute there weren’t significant compromises and concessions to the most liberal side of the aisle and LGB-whatever activists both within and outside the church.

You’d better believe there were. From the CoE’s press release on the proposals:

…The Bishops of the Church of England will be issuing an apology later this week to LGBTQI+ people for the “rejection, exclusion and hostility” they have faced in churches and the impact this has had on their lives.

And they will urge all congregations in their care to welcome same-sex couples “unreservedly and joyfully” as they reaffirm their commitment to a “radical new Christian inclusion founded in scripture, in reason, in tradition, in theology and the Christian faith as the Church of England has received it – based on good, healthy, flourishing relationships, and in a proper 21st Century understanding of being human and of being sexual”.

…Under the proposals, same-sex couples would still not be able to get married in a Church of England church, but could have a service in which there would be prayers of dedication, thanksgiving or for God’s blessing on the couple in church following a civil marriage or partnership.

The formal teaching of the Church of England as set out in the canons and authorised liturgies – that Holy Matrimony is between one man and one woman for life – would not change.

The prayers would be voluntary for clergy to use and could be used in different combinations reflecting the theological diversity of the Church.

What does that even mean? Well, first, it’s an apology for every harm visited (real or imagined) on LGB-whatever people for the church being faithful to the teachings of their religion…I guess. Coupled with allowing those folks who have been married in civil ceremonies, whatever their sexual preferences, to come into a church and be blessed by the priest there – while giving the priest the latitude to choose if he wishes to do so. I’m taking bets on what the pressure will be on priests who toe the traditional line and do not participate. Bake that cake, wear the t-shirt, and give that blessing. I guarantee it’ll go south quickly the second a traditionalist says, “No post-civil service blessings here for gay couples.”

It all seems a very sticky wicket to me, as if they’re trying to split the baby and still keep it alive. I can hear Eddie Izzard’s voice in my head, “Lucky thing for you we’re Church of England!”

…Instead, the Church will offer a service that would include “prayers of dedication, thanksgiving or for God’s blessing on the couple in church following a civil marriage or partnership.” The use of the prayers would be voluntary for clergy, which the church says will reflect its “theological diversity.”

This is the first time blessings would be allowed in the Church for same-sex, civil marriages.

“Both personally and on behalf of my fellow bishops I would like to express our deep sorrow and grief at the way LGBTQI+ people and those they love have been treated by the Church which, most of all, ought to recognise everyone as precious and created in the image of God,” said Stephen Cottrell, the Archbishop of York.

“We are deeply sorry and ashamed and want to take this opportunity to begin again in the spirit of repentance which our faith teaches us.”

Alphabet activists reacted to the compromise as well and graciously as one would expect.

Following the car crash of the bishops' decisions 👇 pic.twitter.com/Sg4NmDq2Td

— Jayne Ozanne 🇺🇦 (@JayneOzanne) January 18, 2023

Calvin Robinson, a no-nonsense Anglican deacon (who might be pretty familiar to folks who watch Tucker), had some thoughts on the proposals and they mirrored my initial impression exactly. It sounds like this is the camel’s nose under the tent flap.

If you read completely through the statement the Church put out, you will see, in one tiny little line, that our suspicion is correct.

…Alongside the published report the bishops of the Church of England will be publishing a letter in which they apologise to LGBTQI+ people.

The letter will also speak honestly about their ongoing disagreements over the possibility of changing the Church’s teaching on marriage itself.

…Once the proposals have been debated by Synod, the House of Bishops will refine the prayers and then commend them for use.

Meanwhile a new group would be set up to produce new pastoral guidance to explain the practical implications of the bishops’ proposals and replace previous guidance and statements including Issues in Human Sexuality.

Synod will be asked to discuss the proposals in detail during its meeting from February 6 to 9, with the main debate on the proposals due to take place on February 8.

They get to hash all this out next month and I’m really interested to see who and what prevails. If their groveling for perceived sins will be enough or if they ultimately cave.

This particular tussle has always been fascinating to me, as a Roman Catholic, because we weren’t married in the Church, either. We were married by a lovely little white-haired clerk of the court in California. Why not the Church? Well, we didn’t follow the rules – didn’t have time to take all the classes or whatever the requirements were at the time (a long time ago), ergo the courthouse. Being a girly girl, of course, I always wanted the big church wedding, but I never once thought to resent or revile the Church because I didn’t get it. They had “rules,” we knew it, didn’t meet the requirements, and that was that.

We had alternate choices where we could have had a blowout service, but we are Catholic. Wouldn’t be the same and hey. Them’s the rules.

Divorced friends who’ve remained in the Catholic Church have strictures as well unless they get their previous marriage annulled. Again, them’s the rules.

There are lots of religious denominations where gays – shoot, anyone – can have the big church wedding complete with the blessing of clergy presiding if that’s what they want. I understand it completely.

God bless them. Be happy.

What I don’t understand is knowing going in what the centuries-old religious tenets are and expecting them to change for you. Then getting really pissed off when they don’t.

Get a grip, people. Even in this day and age, there are rules.

Well.

There used to be.