For the record, this is so NOT a Babylon Bee story. In fact, in would have been better had it died in darkness. But I guess someone making a whole lot more money than I do decided it had something to do with democracy, because that’s who published it. Even tweeted out a link for the whole world to see like it was muy importante or…something.

Researchers say Discovery’s programming overwhelmingly featured White men as experts while emphasizing negative messages about sharks.https://t.co/Fs71Qov5WG

— The Washington Post (@washingtonpost) December 6, 2022

And really? As if constantly haranguing white men wasn’t bad enough, NOW the WaPo calls for an open season on guys named “MIKE“? It’s now okay – in the interest of Science™ – to ferret out what names that might be overrepresented in a career field.

Maybe a study on how many “Taylors” work for newspapers is next, hmm?

Now mind you, the researchers discussed this study over a year ago…

Scientists Watched 32 Years of Shark Week — and Didn’t Like What They Saw

…”It’s not all bad, but holy cow, when it’s bad, it’s bad,” Allegheny College biology and geology professor Lisa Whitenack, the forthcoming study’s lead author, told us for our latest episode of our “Shark Tales” podcast.

…but the paper itself was published Nov 3 of this year. I don’t know who had the time or the money to finance this “study,” but hoo boy, this paragraph was worth the price of admission.

…Shark Week programming has previously been criticized for overwhelmingly featuring white men as experts in their programming [46] and we were left with the same impression after viewing 201 episodes. 93.9% of experts were white or white-perceived by our coders, with only 6.1% of experts perceived as non-white. 24 out of 201 episodes included at least one host/expert perceived by coders as non-white; only one episode included more than one host/expert perceived as non-white. Based on our search of biographies, interviews, and social media posts, no experts used non-binary pronouns or publicly mentioned being trans*. 78.6% of hosts/experts were associated with male pronouns (an online biography for two hosts/experts was not readily available via Google search), whereas the remaining hosts/experts (20.1%) were associated with female pronouns (Fig 6).

NO pronouns and NO transgenders in the waters with the big hungry fishes?!?!

We must BOYCOTT SHARK WEEK UNTIL SOMEONE GENDERFLUID JUMPS IN THE FLUID with the fishes and their yuge teeth.

There’s the de rigueur insulting feminist bromide contained in this tripe. It makes my eyes water reading it and, of course, is misleadingly disguised as Scientific Fact™: if little girls can’t see any woman ever doing something before they decide to do it, little girls won’t ever decide to try, because little girls would never do anything before another girl had.

…Gendered preconceptions of science being male-dominated can push girls away from science…

What a load of woke shark poop.

According to Not the Bee, the chief protagonist behind this abomination of a “study” is a woman named Lisa Whitenack. She seems to spend a great deal of time whining feminist drivel like this:

…But when the scientists appeared on her TV screen, she rarely saw any women she could look up to.

“Why would I know I could do that?” Whitenack said. “I don’t come from a family of scientists. I didn’t see very many people that looked like me on television.”

I don’t know how old she is, but no sharky women? I find that hard to believe. Our son Ebola is in his early 40s, and we spent nothing but time glued to the nature cable shows, with dinosaurs and sharks being the big draws for our bloodthirsty little beast. In the mid-80s/90s, you simply could not watch a shark documentary of any kind without it inevitably including footage – if not featuring – a woman named Valerie Taylor. She dominated shark anything for decades.

She and her husband Ron had developed and were constantly refining a chainmail suit of anti-shark bite armor. Valerie would put the thing on on, and get dumped over the side of a boat somewhere to feed sharks. And, ostensibly, to see if it would protect her from getting life-threatening chomps when they got her arm instead of the fish she was holding all the while standing in a cloud of chum.

She is still a punchline in our house to this very day. The girl was amazing. I would venture “certifiable” but YMMV.

Ms. Whitenack must already have been encased in her angry woke bubble to have missed all that. Now she sits forlornly in front of the telly to watch 32 years’ worth of Shark Week and only makes herself even more bitter and angry.

Considering what’s at stake when the polls close tonight in Georgia, I figured this little ridiculous nugget of a story would be a palate cleanser of sorts. A lighten the mood diversion until I realized this is the direction we’re going, especially if Chucky Schumer gets his raptor fingers around a majority. The rancorous researchers of the Scientific Community™ will be dictating what you name your children after they determine the gender for you so that the career fields of the world aren’t overpopulated with any singular moniker with aggressive connotations.

Like MIKE.

Good grief.

Sharks are good and safe. White men are not. Discovery owes everyone — especially any sharks who were offended — an apology. https://t.co/uQVfudRYTj

— Seth Dillon (@SethDillon) December 6, 2022

Again FOR THE RECORD, Ms. Whitenack – “Mikes” are generally lovely, harmonious people to work with, whatever they do in life.

Back off.