As a public service announcement and favor to y’all, our readers, I am starting this post out with the strongest warning I have available for such things:

**CRINGE ALERT**

What you are about to see has no rhyme nor reason…okay, DEMOCRATS. In the last throws of election desperation are trying to connect with the voters they’ve been so used to depending on effortlessly to bring them across the finish line, and who suddenly seem to have abandoned the party boat. As not very astute students of human nature in the best of times, these Dem candidates are doing anything and everything their overpriced, over-educated campaign staff tells them is smoking hot with all the cool kids on Twitter or TikTok. When every one of your 20-something campaign interns giddily nods like bobblehead dolls in agreement, the candidate goes for it – they can’t all be wrong, because they’re all tapped into the pulse, right? Jeez, Louise.

First up is the sitting Democratic governor of Michigan, Gretchen Whitmer – known for her radiant personality, and ability to touch people’s very souls with her abundant empathy. She’s currently fighting for her political life with upstart Republican challenger Tudor Dixon. The duress of that issue driven race (as in WE HAVE BIG ISSUES with the way Whitmer has run the state) is starting to wear on the governor, judging by Whitmer’s flat-out lying, and I’m sure she thinks it’s pretty unsporting of Dixon and her supporters to repeatedly point her lies out. For example:

Whitmer tells the Biggest Lie ever. #FireWhitmer pic.twitter.com/gE1GcWkVBW

— Bad Fishy (@BFN3000) November 3, 2022

The pressure must have driven Whitmer off the TikTok cliff.

Michiganders: We’re worried about crime, inflation, and gas prices

Gov Gretchen Whitmer: pic.twitter.com/trqr7D8U7N

— Libs of TikTok (@libsoftiktok) November 4, 2022

WOOF.

Boogie Oogie Oogie ’til you just can’t boogie no more.

Boogie and boogie badly (Did she learn NOTHING from Lori Lightfoot’s lead-footed softshoe?).

Absorb that, take a moment to recover and we’ll move on with our tour.

Charlie Crist – unctuous former Florida governor, congressman, Republican, Independent, and now Democratic candidate for getting his previous governor gig back – is charging hard in his earnest efforts to be thoroughly blown out of the water by sitting FL governor Ron DeSantis (I noted his stra-TEE-gery Tuesday). Unlike our hugely popular, working-man, white boot-wearing current chief executive, Crist decided to stage a rally as if his campaign bus were the SS Minnow, the tens of people attending were happy islanders and Charlie? He was looking for Lovey in all the wrong places.

Sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a frightful trip…

Charlie got to wear his Thurston Howell III Halloween costume again. Kudos. https://t.co/cSMrH98ZWE

— Deebs (@DeebsFLA) November 4, 2022

(Maybe more Judge Smails. I can almost hear, “SPAULDING! GET YOUR FOOT OFF THE BOAT!!”) Retail politics at its finest. Charlie connects with “everyman.”

The “Get Out the Vote” TikToks are equally as excruciating. I suppose sitting with a dude under a desk is better than talking to a chick with green lipstick in a bathtub filled with milk and Fruit Loops. YMMV

Obama has officially joined in the Democrats’ new fool-proof plan for whenever they need to push an agenda

Collaborating with TikTokers… pic.twitter.com/2s4x5DiRqk

— Libs of TikTok (@libsoftiktok) November 2, 2022

Just. Stop.

Then there are the self-owns, and doubling down on lying with the evidence of your shameless mendacity spread across the table – and innerwebs – right in front of God and everyone. A classic case study in Democratic delusional denial happened yesterday, when FL House incumbent Anna Eskamani 1) proudly called out “trolls” for disinformation 2) noted “election deniers” on ballots are “dangerous” 3) fact-checked as an “election denier” herself 4) denied being “election deni… Forget it.
DIS YOU?

Imagine bragging about being trolled by @DefiantLs only to be trolled by @elonmusk fact checkers and then doubling down by telling everyone you didn’t post the tweet…VERIFIED BY TWITTER ITSELF. 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/MzcSWiqmkl

— Florida Grand (@florida_grand) November 4, 2022

This is another instance where the comfortable incumbent in a newly redrawn, pretty blue district is suddenly in a dogfight with a rising GOP opponent. That name is Bonnie Jackson, an attorney and former prosecutor among other things. Gov DeSantis spoke about these races on Tuesday that were looking so strong they could well flip and the proof is in the pudding if they’ve sent guys like Steve Scalise (and remember, this is a state house race) in to help campaign. So this was, if one had any mature judgment at all, probably not the best time to act out an arrogant “Don’t believe what your lying eyes are telling you.” Unforced error, compounded by pulling the umbrage card – so angry all the time, these people – when a fellow rep tells you to.

“Quit digging and take the L.”

Words to win by that, fortunately, none of them are paying the slightest bit of attention to. Lighten up, Francis! Like this guy.

Attention New Yorkers…Don’t forget to change your clocks this Sunday and your Governor this Tuesday!

— Lee Zeldin (@leezeldin) November 4, 2022

Happy warriors are the BEST. They make me…well…you know…

Vote.