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Ahead of Iowa's Caucuses, All Weirdness Still Leads to Florida

AP Photo/Andrew Harnik

So, what else is happening this final weekend before Iowa caucuses? Just the usual, it seems, all with Florida ties.

A small cadre of rebellious House Republicans threatens the spending deal agreed to by congressional leaders, threatening a shutdown. Among the breakaway representatives: first-termer Anna Paulina Luna of St. Petersburg, who proclaimed, “The spending deal is a nonstarter.”

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, the part-time Iowa resident and GOP presidential candidate, sent diligent journalists scrambling to Google to research Barbary Pirates and the role of Congress in confronting “stateless actors.”

A former Miami-Dade School Board member was arrested for fraudulent purchases on her school-district-issued credit cards, among them two silicone and cotton fake pregnancy bellies (hoping to persuade her ex she was carrying his baby, the story goes).

Miami City Commissioners nearly came to blows over whether to extend the contract of the city attorney (who’s the subject of a lawsuit claiming she and her husband targeted the homes of vulnerable people to flip for gain).

The Tampa Bay Area state attorney fired more months ago than anyone can count by DeSantis won a glimmer of hope from a federal court of appeals on First Amendment grounds. 

And, of course, DeSantis continued to receive abuse from humorless reporters predisposed to dislike anything he says or does. The collective was not amused by:

  • DeSantis’ teasing comparison of Iowans’ in-stride reaction to brutal winter weather and Floridians’ dismissive regard for sub-Cat-4 hurricanes.
  • DeSantis’ sharp-toothed rejection of ag-industry-roiling policies that are the darlings of the environmental, social and corporate governance (ESG) set, adding with a where’s-my-steak-knife leer, “I could’t subsist if I didn’t have the good meat.”
  • DeSantis’ chaste handshake with Mrs. DeSantis at a break during Wednesday night’s final Iowa debate sent jaws wagging. Really? This nothingburger merits 600 words and two photos — one of them Al Gore probing Tipper’s tonsils on stage at the 2000 Democratic National Convention, an image impossible to unsee — in The New York Times?

In all of this, the event that may have inspired the most turbulence among residents of the third largest U.S. state was the assignment of Saturday’s Miami Dolphins-Kansas City Chiefs wildcard matchup to Peacock. It’s the first time a National Football League playoff game will be available almost exclusively via pay-to-watch streaming.

Home-team television markets (Kansas City, Miami-Fort Lauderdale) will receive traditional broadcast feeds, but fans outside those areas will have to make choices.

Already, get-arounds beyond subscribing or heading to a nearby sports pub have begun to emerge. The best seems to be one offered new signups at Instacart+, who get Peacock and a 14-day free trial.

Then there’s Chiefs defensive end Charles Omenihu, who’s opened his wallet to sponsor 90 three-month Peacock subscriptions.

Classy chap.

So far, fingers of blame are pointing at the NFL. 

Representative Pat Ryan tore into the NFL in a statement released Friday, slamming the league’s decision to air the Wild Card Round matchup between the Kansas City Chiefs and Miami Dolphins exclusively on Peacock.

In his scathing comments, the New York Democrat called it “absolutely ridiculous” that out-of-market constituents have to pay for a separate streaming service to watch a playoff game.

“How much more profit do Roger Goodell and NBC need to make at the expense of hardworking Americans before they are satisfied?” Ryan said. “I’m demanding the NFL and NBC stop the BS and offer fans the service they already pay for, or we’re coming for your antitrust exemption.”

In other words, so far, nobody has blamed DeSantis for the NFL sneakily carving roughly 16 million Floridians out of the free-to-view pie.

But, hey, it’s only Friday. And he’s routinely been accused of neglecting his constituents in areas where he has no authority before: When the feds came for them, how come DeSantis didn’t intervene on behalf of Florida’s Jan6ers? Hmm? 

Now he hates football fans, too? He sure is silent on this major issue of importance to three-quarters of Floridians. Well, you know, he appeared on MSNBC with Joe and Mika the other day. So he must be in the pocket of hotshots at NBCUniversal.

Right. Hush. Don’t give ’em ideas.

Let’s just get on with the voting, OK?

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