The irony is thick. Lord knows how many stories I wrote about how Twitter needs to chill on various topics and how Elon Musk buying the platform was a significant win for free speech. These posts were accompanied by the sordid tales of their unholy alliance with the FBI, pre-Elon, who worked with the social media company to censor and ban accounts to influence public opinion. I wrote about how great Twitter would become under Musk’s regime, only to get permanently banned this week. You cannot make this up. It’s soaked in hilarity, though my infraction is hardly a violation of the terms of service. It was a joke, maybe a bad one, given how touchy some staffers are over there, but for now, @mVespa1 is dead.
If this were a bet on FanDuel, the odds of me being the first Salem employee to be permanently banned was probably +5000000. Other accounts have done and said worse, and they’re still operational. Ayatollah Khamenei, leader of the largest state sponsors of terrorism, who advocates for Israel’s destruction, is still on Twitter.
What got me banned was a reply to a tweet from Insider Paper, who posted a clip of global warming activists vandalizing a Monet at the National Museum in Stockholm, Sweden. They glued themselves to the painting and rubbed red paint over the artwork. I’m not privy to the art world, obviously, but the average person knows who Claude Monet is and the legacy his work entails. These clowns ruined it because of climate change. If there is one thing these global warming whackos fail to grasp, it’s effective messaging.
Two women were detained in Stockholm after they threw “some kind of paint" at a painting by French artist Claude Monet and then glued themselves to the frame, Sweden's National Museum said on Wednesday.https://t.co/wsoMdHndq0 pic.twitter.com/TP54p60DrC
— The Associated Press (@AP) June 15, 2023
Two nurses smeared paint on and glued themselves to a Monet painting at the National Museum in Stockholm, Sweden, to demand climate action.
The artwork was covered by protective glass and was not permanently damaged, the activists said. https://t.co/EAhrTWPhaW pic.twitter.com/es1AEwFwY4
— ABC News (@ABC) June 15, 2023
I simply replied, “Why can’t we shoot these people.” Someone responded by saying that was too much—he was right—but tasing is the appropriate response. I agreed. That was on June 14, and the following morning, I learned that the tweet about shooting these folks violated Twitter’s rules, “specifically, for: Violating our rules against violent speech. You may not threaten, incite, glorify, or express a desire for harm or violence.” I appealed twice and lost. My account is forever locked in read-only mode.
For the last few months, I’ve eschewed tweeting or retweeting political stuff, devoting most of my time to sports to keep me level. I would comment on some political tweets, but most of my activity revolved around the Stanley Cup finals, football, the New York Giants, New York Rangers, and how the Mets will drive me once again into a hypertensive episode. The cumulative effect isn’t considered, which is outrageous. Nuance is dead in these reviews.
The only other time I got into trouble was a minor infraction against the Dallas Cowboys’ account. They had beaten the Giants in a close game, and their victory tweet read something along the lines of ‘flying back home with a ‘W.’” I replied that I hoped the plane crashed, which earned me a 12-hour suspension weeks after the game. They offered me a chance to delete the tweet or appeal. I opted to do the former. Again, bad joke, but anyone who knows NFC East rivalries know stuff can get out of hand.
Release me, Elon!
