Just kidding. This is just the preview of him filling out his horrible bracket. Stay tuned for the whole scintillating thing tonight on the 11 p.m. SportsCenter!

Real quotes from this segment, which they’re calling “Barack-etology,” and which likely got more access to the president this week than anyone with a question about Crimea:

“Did have a couple of double digit seeds with osme upsets at least early in the NCAA tournament.”

“Really wrestled with how far to advance Creighton and Wisconsin, what to do with Louisville as a No. 4 seed in that loaded bracket in the Midwest.”

“How far to push Wichita State, the only undefeated team coming into the NCAA tournament.”

“Kentucky with all their freshman certainly has intrigued the president. Also, Michigan St. and Florida with their veteran players certainly have caught his eye.”

“How far does he take Duke…another question he sort of pondered as he was filling out the bracket.”

Meanwhile, the AP is petitioning the Most Transparent Administration in History to be allowed to cover some news please, President Obama:

The Associated Press is seeking to broaden independent news coverage of the White House under an administration that is hypersensitive about its image and which frequently bars the press from events involving President Barack Obama.

AP White House correspondent Julie Pace and chief White House photographer Charles Dharapak (DAR’-uh-pak) described the AP’s efforts Tuesday at the Newspaper Association of America’s mediaXchange 2014 convention in Denver. Those efforts include ongoing negotiations for greater access by photographers to events the White House deems private.

The Obama White House routinely bars news media from meetings with foreign leaders and other events, then releases its own photos of those events — including a February meeting between Obama and the Dalai Lama. In doing so, it’s acknowledging that events barred to journalists are of public interest, the AP reporters said.

Dharapak called such handouts “visual press releases” that leave out details news reporters usually seek.

“We don’t fault them for using these methods of social outreach,” Dharapak said of the White House in an interview after his presentation. “Just don’t shut the independent press out.”

“Once we lose access, we’ll never get it back,” he told convention participants.

Look, we get it. The president loves sports. I love the tournament, too. I just wish Wichita State’s likelihood of choking hadn’t been the hardest question he faced in public today.