Thinking about a last-minute trip for Thanksgiving?

Don’t.

Everybody else is too. And they’ve already taken all the seats that aren’t in the middle by the bathroom.

The bad news is this year’s peak holiday travel is expected to be the worst ever. The good news is the peak travel period is expected to be the longest ever too.

You’re right, that’s not good news. Which should tell you what a travel nightmare awaits this week. That’s even before the unpredictable weather complications that trap planes in the East that are scheduled to get you in the West later that day. And you’ll see those poor people sitting on the concourse floor on the TV news.

The Transportation Security Administration is projecting this holiday will see 25 million travelers. That’s seven percent more flyers than last year. Do ya think the security lines will move seven percent faster?

Some people have planned their Thanksgiving trips to start as early as last week, around Nov. 16. Which means the busy time now runs from mid-month to the Sunday after the holiday, Nov. 25 and 26th.

“People try to get a head start on the crowds,” according to Lisa Farbstein of TSA. “But actually it’s just as busy the Friday before Thanksgiving and the Monday before Thanksgiving. It starts to ramp up on Tuesday. Wednesday is huge, of course, the day before Thanksgiving. And Sunday, right after Thanksgiving, is probably one of the busiest days.”

New York’s JFK Airport is expecting its normal daily traffic to double to 100,000. Have you ever heard TSA advise travelers to arrive early and expect delays? They’re doing it again.

Oh, and about your carry-ons: You can bring a wrapped present. But if it sets off the X-ray alarm, agents will take their time to open it carefully on the spot. And all the folks waiting in line behind may mug you in the restroom.

You can carry aboard turkey and stuffing, pies and cakes because they are considered solids. You cannot, however, bring mashed potatoes and gravy, which are the best parts, despite being considered liquids.

Also, more bad news: People are permitted to carry-on dry yams, the second most disgusting food ever. If those yams are already wet and liquid, you must put those things inside checked baggage, where I hope it explodes all over your underwear.