New WikiLeaks dump builds confidence in our side's hacking skills

While some of us breathlessly await the return of taciturn, master spy chief George Smiley in John Le Carre’s new novel this fall, WikiLeaks is out now with a damaging new data dump alleging the CIA can hack anyone and make it appear to be someone else snooping around.

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The unauthorized release of 676 once-secret alleged source codes, if true, will no doubt disturb some — perhaps many — at the Central Intelligence Agency. Some of us have difficulty tracking our own eight-character passwords. And we’ve wondered about all the government’s public hand-wringing about foreign hackers getting into everything in recent times, instead of — here’s an idea! — actually doing something to stop it and deliver payback.

So, thanks to WikiLeaks, it’s really rather comforting to discover now that our spooks can play the electronic hide-and-seek game right up there with major league bad guys. Yay, team!

Assuming, of course, that all the infamous hacking behavior really was real bad guys like China, Russia or North Korea and not our own good bad guys pretending to be bad, bad guys hacking our side. Apparently, see, there are electronic fingerprints that contain a misleading electronic DNA that seems to belong to really bad guys.

Remember when Sony got hacked and all those personnel files and snotty executive comments about stars got out? And unidentified government sources on our side said, boy, the electronic fingerprints sure look North Korean? And that made sense because Sony had a new movie called “The Interview” that made fun of’ that goofy little North Korean dictator who’s assassinating half-brothers while building nuclear weapons and ICBMs but can’t afford a decent haircut.

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But then, wait, why would the CIA want to help promote another dumb Seth Rogen movie?

Anyway, the latest WikiLeaks leaks claim the source code’s codename is Marble and it’s multi-lingual. This allows the real hacking culprit, who’s a good guy remember, to appear to be one of those real bad guys like China, Arabic-speaking ISIS goons, Farsi-speaking Iranians, Kim’s henchmen speaking Korean or Putin’s Russian bad boys.

Unless you were drugged while undergoing interrogation earlier this month, you’ll recall our Beloved Supreme Leader Ed Morrissey here at HotAir wrote (in English) about a previous WikiLeaks release.

That disclosure included alleged word that the CIA can bypass smartphone encryptions and hack into those thingys like Waze and Whatsapp, potentially sending us driving off in the wrong direction to that new restaurant. Ah, but what about the new password? Can Marble reclaim that for me?

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Duane Patterson 11:00 AM | December 26, 2024
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