This week the Tennessee Star published a description of previously unseen writings by Audrey Hale. The Star is one of the papers that is part of a lawsuit trying to force the Metro Nashville PD to release the documents, but this did not come as a result of their efforts in court. Apparently someone just leaked several dozen pages, all of which had been left behind by Hale in her car. One entry about civil rights was written 35 days before the attack.

In the highly political entry, Hale makes a series of claims about the rights afforded to gun owners, transgender people and non-binary people in the United States...

“So now in America, it makes one a criminal to have a gun or, be transgender, or non-binary,” wrote Hale. She added, “God I hate those s***head politicians.”...

“So now [because] of you, I wish death on myself cause of the pure hatred of my female gender,” Hale declared. She added, “with no rights, anyone’s country is a s***** dictatorship.”

Audrey Hale considered herself trans and went by Aiden Hale at the time of the shooting which took place on March 27, 2023. Just 16 days earlier, Hale wrote a diary entry titled "My Imaginary Penis."

“My penis exists in my head. I swear to god I’m a male,” wrote Hale in the diary or journal recovered by police. She then wrote about her desire to have a penis for the purpose of heterosexual sex with a woman...

About her parents, Hale added, “I hate parental views; how my mom sees me as a daughter – and she’d not bear to want to lose that daughter because a son would be the death of Audrey.”

Hale also wrote that she would "kill" for puberty blockers but that they were introduced too late for her as she's already gone through puberty by the time she knew about them. Later in the same entry, Hale describes how she fantasized about being a man using her stuffed dolls to simulate intercourse and taking photos of the whole thing.

“I can pretend to be them [and] do the things boys do [and] experience my boy self as Tony,” which Hale explained is her “stuffed boy doll” which she wrote “is like the boy I am in another form.”

Hale concluded, "I waste too much time in my fantasies." All of this was written by a 28-year-old who seems to have the emotional maturity of a 12-year-old. In another entry she wrote about being misgendered.

In an entry dated February 21, 2023, Hale wrote, “I was called a woman, lady, and ma’am all in the same day.” She wrote, in capital letters, “I hate everything about my gender,” then added, “everything hurts.”

A strong element that comes through all of this is her desire to leave her body. There's a line, which sounds almost like a poem, which suggests Audrey was thinking of death as a way to fully transition into her new body.

On the first page of the notebook, Hale questioned, “why does my brain not work right?” Then wrote, “Cause I was born wrong.” She then wrote, “Nothing on earth can save me… never ending pain. Religion won’t save.”

In an undated, two-sentence entry approximately 60 pages later, Hale wrote, “The [cocoon] of my old self will die when I leave my body behind and the boy in me will be free; in the butterfly transformation; the real me.”

This seems really on the nose in a Silence of the Lambs kind of way. Honestly, I found myself wondering if this could be some kind of AI spoof. But the Star does mention that at least one of the pages they received appears to be one of the three that Steven Crowder previously released. Overall, the segments of her writings released by the Star seem far more self-focused than the three pages published last year by Steven Crowder. As a reminder of what those pages contained:

Hale: “Kill those kids!!!”

Hale: “going to fancy private schools with those fancy khakis + sports backpacks w/ their daddies mustangs + convertibles.”

Hale: “Wanna kill all you little crackers!!! Bunch of little faggots w/ your white privileges”• Hale: There were several times I could have been caught especially b---ack in the summer of 2021.

The Star seems to be posting multiple stories on the documents, a little at a time. So it's possible they'll release more over the next few days.

Earlier in the week, the Star also published a story about a letter the FBI sent to the Metro Nashville PD in which they advised the police not to release what they referred to as "legacy tokens." Hale's writings were specifically mentioned but the timing of the letter suggests that's what it was about.

According to the FBI, merely releasing the documents contributes to “future attacks” because, “Future attackers will immerse themselves in and study these materials for inspiration and tactics.”

The first point listed in the memo further claims “[i]nfamy and notoriety are major motivators for many attackers,” and “dispersion of legacy tokens through the media will only further the infamous and notorious goals of the offender.”

There were earlier reports that Hale's writings couldn't be released because they provided a roadmap to attacking schools or this school in particular. So far the material released doesn't show that at all. But again, the Star is only releasing selective excerpts so it's hard to get a full picture at this point.

One final report which comes from a radio host. Hale allegedly bought the guns used in the attack using money she received as Pell Grants.

Update: A new story from the Tennessee Star. Continuing with the them of Hale wanting to be dead because of her body.

“A terrible feeling to know I am nothing of the gender I was born of,” Hale wrote in the entry. She continued, “I am the most unhappy boy alive. I wish to be dead.”

Later, Hale wrote, “I will be of no use of love for any girl if I don’t have what they need: boy’s body / male gender.”

In a separate story we learn that Hale had apparently been getting psychological treatment from the age of six. This is based on an affidavit filed to get a search warrant for the home of Hale's parents.

According to the affidavit, “When detectives processed the folder containing Audrey Hale’s medical records, it was clear that Audrey Hale has been receiving psychological treatment from Vanderbilt Psychiatric Hospital since 2001.”

Later in the affidavit, it is implied that Hale began receiving treatment at VUMC on April 23, 2001, when she was just six-years-old...

Additional documents reviewed by The Star indicate Hale, a biological female who identified as transgender at the time of the attack, was under the care of both a psychiatrist and a therapist prior to her death.