The NY Times published this story earlier today and it’s disturbing for a couple of reasons. Chen Goldstein-Almog and her family lived in kibbutz Kfar Aza near the border with Gaza. On Oct. 7 Hamas terrorists murdered her husband and eldest daughter in front of her and then kidnapped her and her remaining three children. The Times doesn’t spend any time discussing the attack. Instead we get Chen’s description of being a hostage which, fortunately, didn’t involve any further violence.

She said she and the children were held together, treated “respectfully” and not physically harmed. But she said that over the course of various moves during their captivity, she had met other hostages who were badly treated, including two women who said they were sexually abused.

Mostly, they were held in a room in an apartment in Gaza, she said, with the windows closed except for a bit of fresh air in the early mornings. But the heavily armed captors also moved Ms. Goldstein-Almog and her children to different apartments, tunnels, a mosque, even a destroyed supermarket, she said…

She couldn’t stop replaying the death of her husband, Nadav, 48, whom she started dating in high school and who was killed in front of their eyes along with their oldest daughter, Yam, 20, a soldier just two months from the end of her service.

This is pretty clearly someone who was traumatized but the Times has somehow turned this into a story about weepy and apologetic Hamas fighters:

They talked about their families, their lives and the extreme danger they all faced.

One of the gunmen holding her even apologized for the killing of her husband and one of her daughters by other Hamas gunmen, she said.

“It was a mistake and against the Quran,” he told her, Ms. Goldstein-Almog remembered.

She described the tension in the room going up at that moment. Like anyone would be, she was distraught and angry but she also knew she couldn’t show any of that in that moment. There was no telling how her captors would react. And we never really do get a clear understanding of her feelings, only what we can infer she must have been feeling.

The story ends with her family’s release and her captor warning her not to go back to Kfar Aza or anywhere close to the border with Gaza but instead to move somewhere far away like Tel Aviv. Her captor gives her this warning because he promises Hamas will return for more attacks on the places closest to Gaza. Chen replied that next time instead of throwing a grenade when he arrives he should “just knock on the door.”

Is this supposed to be a moment of common humanity? Friendship? Is she reminding her captor that they murdered her family? It makes for a very strange story, almost like the Times is looking for a silver lining where one really doesn’t belong. Consider the top comment on this story. To be clear, I think this is bats**t crazy take, but clearly a lot of people who read this felt it was meant to be sort of upbeat and hopeful.

There is so much hope that springs out of this woman’s interactions with her captors. The hours long conversations, the apology for killing her family and acknowledging that it was a mistake, the crying that she witnessed among the guards.

All of this shows humanity and compassion. These are the moments to seize upon and go forth from. Shared humanity and understanding is possible even in this situation. It is the starting point of peace.

They murdered her husband and daughter! The claim that this was a “mistake” by a fellow-gunman is disgusting. It’s self-justifying garbage from an extremist who can’t own up to the planned murders his group carried out. And the story ends with another Hamas fighter promising to kill again at the first opportunity. And yet some people reading this seem to think this is a very special episode of Oprah. I really couldn’t be more disgusted by this reaction but I think the way this story is framed and written has a lot to do with it. Someone from Israel responded directly to the top comment above:

@Michael attempting to reframe an unforgivable war crime of holding women and children hostage for months while starving and denying them medical acess as “shared humanity” is vile, cruel and detached from reality. It is dehumanizing both the surviving victims and their dead (brutally murdered) loved ones. The sooner you and anyone who supports your comment can acknowledge the ongoing atrocities still commited at Israeli citizens at the expense of innocent Gazans (132 hostages still held!), the sooner a terrorless and maybe even peaceful future will be possible for both peoples.

And another one from the US:

@Michael She could not respond to their “apology” for killing her husband and daughter in front of her for fear that her reaction would endanger the children she was trying to keep alive and free from sexual assault. And the guards parting words to her? We are coming back to kill more Jews.

Thank god there are still some sane people in the world. This person nailed it.

It seems you have exploited a terrorised and grieving woman’s experience to paint a humane picture of her Hamas captors. I feel sick. And you should be ashamed.

If you want to humanize Hamas, catch that doing something other than murder and kidnapping.