Before we get too carried away, I should point out that the article title is satire. Or at least it’s partly satire. The Big Apple was named the “Best City in the World,” but not by the Church of Satan. (They have yet to weigh in on the question to my knowledge.) Instead, Gotham had this honor bestowed on them by a media company named “Time Out,” as reported this week by CNN. The criteria they used when determining the “best” cities in the world sound fairly basic. They mention the museums, restaurants, and clubs that most people are familiar with. Architecture is also featured. But we have to wonder whether the people conducting this survey have actually been to New York recently. Also, some of the other “winners” on this list seem a bit dubious as well.

It’s the city that’s the main character in all your favorite TV shows and movies, the inspiration behind countless songs and art – and one of the famous destinations in the world.

Perhaps it’s no wonder, then, that media company Time Out has named New York City as its best city for 2024.

Time Out surveyed some 20,000 city-dwellers across the world, alongside its network of global writers and editors, to compile its latest round-up of the best cities in the globe.

Factors including cities’ food scenes, architecture and cultural happenings were taken into account. The goal, says Time Out, is to provide “inspiration for travel” but also a “global snapshot of city living.”

I’d never heard of Time Out Group, but it’s apparently an actual organization in the UK. Their “media” appears to be limited to online outlets and the sponsorship of some live events. They supposedly placed some calls to residents of various cities around the world and asked them to rate their location based on a variety of factors and New York came out on top.

I’ll grant you that New York has long been iconic for its architecture and nightlife and you can still enjoy a lot of that today, assuming you can get to your destination safely. But did Time Out consider that the shopping districts they are praising are now considered rather dangerous to travel in, particularly the areas that are overrun by illegal migrants, prostitutes, and drug addicts?

They also highlight the city’s extensive public transit system. Of course, that includes the subways where people are regularly pushed onto the tracks by madmen. Amazingly, they declare that New York “was ranked as the place other global city-dwellers would most like to relocate to.” Really? Those “other global city dwellers” must not keep up with the news very much. More than half a million people have moved out since 2022, with most of them going to Florida or Texas. On the plus side, there are probably plenty of apartments available for the “global city dwellers” if they really want to come. Or at least there would be if the Mayor hadn’t filled them all up with migrants.

So what was the second “greatest city” in the world? Time Out selected Cape Town in South Africa. That might not be a terrible choice because Cape Town has definitely experienced a period of growth in recent decades and has been significantly modernized. But as even the media group is forced to admit, Cape Town is not exactly a friendly environment for everyone. There are many opportunities for tourists willing to spend some money there, but “these things aren’t accessible to the majority of citizens.” They note that the inequality in Cape Town “is starker than ever.” Isn’t that the sort of thing that a progressive media outlet would be concerned about? I’m sure there are some nice cities in certain Chinese provinces where members of the CCP can wine and dine and dance the night away, but they aren’t terribly fun cities if you happen to be a Uyghur.

The other cities on the list aren’t all that remarkable or off-base. They include Berlin, London, Madrid, Tokyo, and Rome. All have their charms, I’m sure, but they have also all suffered under the weight of uncontrolled migration to one degree or another and they are experiencing unrest like most of the rest of the world. If this list is designed to inspire travel recommendations, I would offer an alternative as we view the landscape of 2024. Stay home. And get a gun and lots of ammunition.