File this article under the category of  “News You Can Use But We Really, Really Hope You Don’t Need To.” Of course, given the current state of affairs with Russia, China, and North Korea, perhaps you should give it a look anyway. Do you remember that PSA that the City of New York put out a while back telling you what to do in the event of a nuclear blast near your home? Well, a group of scientists from the University of Nicosia in Cyprus has tried to apply a bit more science to the question. They’ve developed some guidelines regarding the best places to hide when the Big One hits. So read this and try to take notes just in case. (Yahoo News)

A new study provides a reality check about your chances of surviving a nuclear explosion. It suggests that, even if you’re hiding indoors and far away enough to avoid immediate disintegration, the high-speed winds created from the blast could still be enough to kill or seriously injure you. But the findings also indicate the best locations within a building to take shelter, should the worst-case scenario ever occur.

The research comes from scientists from the University of Nicosia in Cyprus. They created a computer model of the impacts of a 750 kiloton-rated warhead detonated above a typical city.

The explosion would vaporize people caught within the initial fireball, which could extend just over half a mile around the bomb. Within 10 seconds, the researchers found, the blast would create a shockwave bubble almost 3 miles in radius at ground level. This wave would kick up winds strong enough to kill or maim people unlucky enough to be stuck outside, and it could even knock down some flimsier buildings. Concrete-reinforced buildings would largely remain intact, the team went on to find, but not necessarily everyone inside them would survive.

Unlike the New York City PSA (“You’ve got this!”), this study at least addresses the most likely reality for people who live in a major city when a nuclear weapon is detonated over it. Unless you received a lot of advance warning, you’re probably going to be dead. Plenty of large buildings in our larger cities have been “earthquake-proofed” to the best of the architect’s ability. But none of them have been “nuke-proofed” unless you happen to have an apartment under Cheyenne Mountain. Most of the buildings anywhere near the blast zone will collapse. If you don’t die in the rubble, the radiation will cook you shortly thereafter.

People who are further away may be living in buildings that won’t come down. But the computer model used in this study (along with some common sense) suggests that you’re not out of the woods even then. First of all, you won’t have any protection unless you are actually in the building when the blast hits. Without advance warning, people stuck outside will be just as bad off.

But even inside the building, the winds generated by a nearby nuclear blast will likely blow out the windows and create vacuums that may suck you outside anyway. Then you’ll have the same things to worry about as the people in the previous scenarios, plus the issues involved in a potential fall of many stories to the street below. (In some ways, that might wind up being more of a blessing than a curse.)

But as it turns out, if you’re not in one of those unfortunate positions, the NYC PSA may have actually gotten at least a couple of things right. You’ll want to shelter as far inside the building as possible, but away from the windows or open doors where the air suction issue mentioned above might take place. Hiding against a wall that’s between you and the location of the blast and staying close to the floor is probably your best option. Of course, that means you have to know what direction the blast is coming from, so I’m not sure how useful that is.

I didn’t participate in the study, but I’ll add one other piece of advice to consider. Don’t live in the big cities. If you live in one now, move away. You’ll probably wind up being much happier and better off financially if you do, even if the nukes never arrive. Also, don’t live near any major military installations or places where we have our own missile silos. Our adversaries have a lot of nukes, but they won’t be able to drop enough of them to carpet-bomb the whole country. On that upbeat note, enjoy your evening! And here’s the NYC PSA one more time just to refresh your memory.