Hunter Biden: Not good at the whole "password thing"

The Hunter Biden laptop story has turned out to be the gift that keeps on giving. Well, at least for those of you who have managed to hear about it despite the ongoing media blackout. The story that came out this weekend, however, didn’t really have much to do with corrupt, pay-to-play schemes or influence peddling. It involves a revelation from the FBI indicating that they didn’t need to call in any sort of cryptology mastermind to gain access to the data contained in the device. The younger Biden didn’t leave the password as the default (PASSWORD) or use his birthday, but his final choice wasn’t much better. (NY Post)

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It didn’t take much for investigators to crack Hunter Biden’s infamous abandoned laptop, according to a report, because the password was “Hunter02.”

The MacBook Pro’s hard drive — subject of a series of New York Post stories and under investigation by the FBI — had the lax and lazy password despite containing a trove of e-mails and other data relating to his father, Democratic presidential contender Joe Biden, the Daily Mail on Sunday reported.

The former vice president’s son had ample reason to be more careful securing the device, the existence of which was first reported in The Post, the outlet noted.

Assuming that “02” is his lucky number or holds some special significance for him, the password was at least one that he could easily remember. There was also no secondary encryption or double authentication protecting the device.

There were more goodies on the hard drive than just the now-infamous emails. He had the contact information for nearly every member of Barack Obama’s cabinet, including their private cellphone numbers. On top of that, anyone hacking into his files would have also reportedly found the digits for Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, the singer for Coldplay.

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I suppose I can sympathize with Biden on this score, at least to an extent. For a long time, I found passwords to just be a pain in the backside, particularly the ones for employer accounts that you’re forced to change every couple of months. I used to use the names of pets or other personal details that anyone who knew much about me could probably figure out pretty quickly. Over the past few years, though, after seeing all of the damage that hackers can do, I’ve taken to keeping my passwords on a piece of paper and using longer strings of random numbers, letters and punctuation. I suppose it provides me with a false sense of security.

So what does the future hold for Hunter Biden’s laptop? The FBI is still in the process of investigating the contents, but the election is basically all over but the shouting at this point. The liberal mainstream media has succeeded in keeping the story from most of the voters in the nation and sought to discredit the story on the rare occasions when anyone did dare to breathe a word about it.

But if Joe Biden does manage to win the presidency tomorrow (or whenever the heck we’re finally done counting and wading through legal challenges), that laptop could still have an important role to play. What if the FBI actually does dig up something significantly damaging not just about Hunter Biden, but his father as well? That could provide the excuse that Democrats would need to gently shove Uncle Joe out the door even sooner than he might have gone otherwise, offering the opportunity to install the Historic First Female And Minority President In The History Of Our Nation, Kamala Harris.

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Wait… I just got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I should probably go lie down for a bit.

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