Judging by the early ratings preview, not as many of you sat through the entire big game last night as many media critics were predicting. CNN is guessing that people were tuning over to the Puppy Bowl or a rerun of Titanic by halftime. And with good reason, I suppose. I haven’t missed watching a Super Bowl since my days in the Navy back in the early eighties. (We were sometimes out at sea on game day and didn’t have satellite television back then.) Out of all those seasons, last night’s game was probably the worst one I can recall.

Would I be saying this if the Rams had won by the same score? Probably not, since I had the Rams in the Hot Air pool. (A hearty congratulations to Ed Morrissey for winning the postseason honors, by the way. I’ll get you next year, Ed.) But it still wouldn’t have been a very fun game to watch. I understand that defenses win championships, but the best defense is generally matched up with an offense capable of generating some excitement as well. Last night it just felt like it wasn’t a case of two great defenses facing off, but two offenses that barely showed up to play.

One of my favorite memes that showed up last night read, “If I wanted to watch guys failing at scoring for three hours I would have just taken my buddies to the bar.”

Even the halftime show was mediocre at best. Granted, I’m not a Maroon 5 fan to begin with, but even Spencer Kornhaber of the Atlantic described it as “a show designed to be forgotten.” In terms of entertainment value, the highlight of the night was probably Gladys Knight singing the anthem and the military flyover.

Even the commercials were lame when compared to previous years. Believe it or not, I was actually excited to hear that the Budweiser Clydesdales were going to be making a comeback. Some of those ads from previous seasons were among the best we’ve ever seen, in my opinion. But then they decided to have them marching in front of some wind turbines and the whole thing felt like a waste of a massive amount of advertising money.

The one exception was the Bud Light, Game of Thrones crossover. If you didn’t happen to catch it last night, check it out now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoLiRI5swVk

All in all, Super Bowl LIII was a forgettable mess. I can’t help but wonder if it might have been more dynamic if the Saints hadn’t been robbed and showed up to take on the Patriots. That doesn’t necessarily mean that New England would have lost, but it might have at least been more exciting. Of course, most of the people in New Orleans didn’t have to suffer through this game since most of the city was boycotting it.