It’s yet another sign of the times that a perfectly serviceable word like “entitlement’ has gotten such a bad name. If you hear it or read it these days it’s either about entitlement programs or, more likely, a Check Your Privilege story explaining how white people are the problem with everything. That’s why I wasn’t holding out much hope when a friend sent me a link to a story by Amy Mccready in the Washington Post.

Is your child entitled? Here are 5 ways to make sure they aren’t.

But in a pleasant turn of events, this was not yet another tale of how to indoctrinate your children to make sure they feel guilty about things that happened before their great grandparents were born. In fact, the “entitlement” in this case refers to kids who most of us would more commonly refer to as spoiled brats.

We’re tired of picking up after our kids while they watch TV, annoyed by the “center of the world” attitude and disgusted by the bribes we have to offer to get them through the store without causing a scene.

Childhood is certainly ripe with limit-testing and tricky behavior. And let’s face it, most kids have days when they lash out at siblings, whine incessantly and would forget their head if it weren’t screwed on. With all the frustrating moments, it’s hard to know if what we’re seeing is a problem or just a phase.

The nagging question we can’t ignore is: are my kids entitled? Experts agree that entitlement is a more pervasive problem than most parents like to admit. Parents, teachers and coaches see kids of all income levels demand more, more, MORE, wonder “What’s in it for me?” and rarely show gratitude. In an article for Psychology Today, clinical psychologist Leon F. Seltzer wrote, “Those afflicted with a sense of entitlement demonstrate the attitude that whatever they want, they deserve—and automatically at that, simply because they are who they are…”

Speaking solely as one of the beleaguered, angry old men who occasionally has to venture out into the world and be annoyed by the antisocial behavior of the brats belonging to the Time Out Generation, I hope that parents from across the spectrum can find a moment to read this article. There was a time when nobody really would have needed these “helpful tips” to figure out if their kid was out of control, but it seems that this might be a very useful guide in the 21st century.

The first “symptom” the author identifies is a child who can’t take no for an answer. Personally, I grew up in a house where the inability to accept “no” as an answer led to a very undesirable encounter with a huge, wooden kitchen spoon, but I suppose that doesn’t work today. Ms. Mccready suggests the following:

A parent’s worst fear when it comes to saying no is the ugly protest that often follows. Say yes whenever you can (“Yes, I know you’re dying to get to the mall—let’s plan a time this weekend”), but when you can’t, don’t shy away from saying no. Reveal to your kids ahead of time, “When I hear whining, complaining and negotiating, I’m going to simply ignore it. I’ll be happy to have a conversation when you can talk to me respectfully.” Then they won’t be (too) surprised when you leave the room and ignore their next loud protest about how you won’t let them dig for dinosaur bones in the front yard. What’s more, keep in mind that it’s not your job to provide constant entertainment and a lavish childhood. Relax and enjoy the little things, and your kids will learn to, too.

Really, that’s a lot more conversation than I’d be expecting to have with a child of any age, but I suppose it could work if the kid is capable of exercising any amount of rational judgement. Temper tantrums can’t be allowed to produce positive results, though, so they have to be ignored at a minimum or disciplined until it’s no longer a go-to response by the kid.

The author also has plenty of advice for parents of kids who constantly rely on their parents to rescue them from their own stupidity or forgetfulness, even to the point of massively disrupting their lives. In addition, there’s also the problem of kids who flatly refuse directions to do some chore or follow any basic rules of the house. This is one of those cases where Mccready suggests a lot more patience than I could ever manage.

One way to soothe the sting of eliciting their help is by offering your kids choices: “I need help with chopping veggies for dinner and with emptying the dishwasher. Which would you prefer to do?” Or, set up a When-Then: “When the dishes are unloaded, then you can have your after-school snack, but the kitchen closes at 4:15.” And to make it clear that no one gets a free ride, hand out regular responsibilities.

We seem to have “evolved” in parenting to the point where Because I Said So is an unacceptable answer. That’s sad, because in a parent child relationship that is a completely acceptable answer. I mean, some kids mature faster than other and figure things out, but sometimes spare the rod simply doesn’t work. Still, it’s good to see an actual parent talking to other parents and essentially asking them to recognize if their kids are turning into monsters. And if they are, it’s almost never the child’s fault.