All is well, citizens of Ohio. You are now safe from the Sith-like menace of the Elyria pink cookie.

“New federal nutritional guidelines for school cafeterias has meant the end of a favorite — and locally famous — treat in one northeast Ohio school district. The federal government’s edict to provide healthier foods and cut fats and cholesterol put an end of the sale of the traditional Elyria pink cookie — a buttery sweet treat with pink icing.”

Our friend Irish Spy provides a bit of perspective on this historic victory over the forces seeking to throw down civilization as we know it.

You know, with ISIS and Ukraine and Boko Haram and Chinese fighters buzzing our planes and a rotten economy and… so much else, it’s comforting to know that the United States government is saving us all from a bit too much fat in our diets.

Whew!

What’s the point of all this? At this stage in the game, it wouldn’t even be worth noting were it not for the fact that Jim Geraghty has now made me exceptionally hungry for cookies. But it does serve as the umpteenth layer of examples of the nanny state managing to dump the entire apple cart. (Apple pie cart?) If you found an example of a school serving the kids nothing but a diet of Hot Pockets and pop rocks, it would certainly be a case for the parents and officials – at the local level – to step in with the school board and put a stop to it. But the occasional serving of a local favorite dessert treat?

When you turn that job over to Washington, the seemingly inevitable result is the cleansing of the school system of horrors such as this. Well done, federal government. You’ve made the world a safer, if much stupider place.