Perhaps the most sensible thing said in the hysterical particle-accelerator that was world opinion following President Trump’s announcements on tariffs came from Adrian McLaughlin, an Irish whiskey maker: “This is not the end of the world. We’ll work it out.”

Prophetic words indeed – but only if the EU reacts with the ice-cold calm of a rational party rather than a would-be global player who has seen the team sheet and suddenly realises for the first time that he’s not even on the subs’ bench. (I know, I know, our beloved President is a she, but most of the EU’s governing politburo are men.) Instead of staying silent, the EU is blowing gaskets in its respective component parts, and worst of all, its media are placing the most hysterical interpretations possible on Trump’s words. To be sure, analysing his casual asides and his sudden improvisations can be rather like examining a chicken’s entrails in order to calculate the orbits of Mercury’s moons,  but if one can’t confidently differentiate between a perihelion and a liver, the wisest course of action is silence. Alas, the media generally prefers speak over meek.

Last weekend, the widely-respected Financial Times chose as its second lead a story about Italy’s response to Trump’s initiative: “Meloni forced to choose between the US and the EU“. That is a pretty melodramatic scenario at a time of great crisis for everyone. Was Giorgia Meloni going to break ranks with Italy’s partners in the EU and somehow or other side with Donald Trump? Aside from the legal difficulties – roughly the equivalent of a lung transplant from a turtle to a chimpanzee – how was she going to break the news to the world? By arresting and deporting the EU’s Border Police, and perhaps importing the Arizona National Guard?