Alright, maybe Simon Pegg had a point after all.  Of all the movies in the universe to reboot, Hollywood went ahead and chose…Point Break.  Yes, that’s the early 90s movie starring Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze about an FBI agent who has to infiltrate a group of surfers who wear masks of ex-Presidents’ faces while robbing banks.

Sure it sounds like something so absurd that even Hollywood wouldn’t bother to resurrect it, but nope, here’s the trailer:

That trailer hits pretty much every bad reboot trope imaginable. Gritty,  dour, “realistic” aesthetic? Check.  Stakes raised to have worldwide consequences? Check.  Action sequences amped up to 11 and laden with CGI? Check.  Mild references to the original to remind people “hey this is a Point Break movie”? Check.  Thumping electronic “bwaaahs” in the soundtrack to try and build some tension? Check.

That all is of course the exact opposite of what made the first movie work.  The original film only became something of a cult classic because it had a goofy charm to it driven in large part by the cast itself.  Surfer-sounding Keanu Reeves having to learn all about that culture was quaintly ironic and made him a likable protagonist.  Patrick Swayze already had charisma in spades, so him waxing poetic had the kind of allure that one could imagine would sway a young FBI agent.  Plus there was the hilarious insanity of Gary Busey…being Gary Busey.

Now instead of a small band of surfer dudes who rob banks to fight the “system that kills the human spirit”, we’ve got a bunch of international criminals using C4 to blow up mountains as they try to “disrupt the international financial markets” and who “don’t care who gets killed in the process.” Oh yeah, they go surfing occasionally too because they’re all extreme athletes.

Gee that sounds like totally a fresh take on a 90s summer action flick. It’s not at all like some studio executive checking off all the boxes the marketing department says are popular with young men ages 15-35.

Fortunately there is already a pretty good Point Break remake out there if you’re so inclined.  It just features street racing instead of surfing, and it’s called The Fast and the Furious.  So well did it capture that charm of the original that they’ve made seven of them in total so far and the last one made a fortune at the box office.

But maybe I’m being too hard on the trailer. Let me know what you think about it in the comments.