It’s been a long time since he was on the air. I assume you know why.

And if you don’t, don’t worry. You’re about to find out in excruciating detail, courtesy of one of the cringiest interviews in the history of TV news.

I don’t know what CNN was thinking. Bringing Toobin back is bad enough but if they were going to do it they could have skipped over the reason for his hiatus and jumped back in by interviewing him about some court case somewhere. But either Toobin or Jeff Zucker — or both — wanted to clear the air, apparently, with a full-throated mea culpa.

About getting caught jerking off on a Zoom call.

How much must this guy love his CNN job to accept going on national television to discuss pleasuring himself as a condition of retaining it?

And how much must Alisyn Camerota hate her job after having been tasked with rehabbing him? How was that assignment handed out?

— “Mr Zucker, we’re planning to bring Jeff Toobin back today to discuss yanking his crank for eight minutes.”
— “Great, have a woman anchor do the questioning.”

As you’ll see, Toobin even snuck in a book plug, for cripes sake.

As for the rest of the network, I think it’d be a nice show of solidarity if all CNN on-air talent discussed their most embarrassing masturbation experience today. Except for Chris Cuomo — we already know the answer in his case.

The common thread between Toobin and Cuomo, by the way, is that CNN has been willing to endure truly humiliating scandals in the name of keeping them employed even though both guys are replacement-level at what they do. It’d be one thing if Toobin were a superstar legal commentator offering insights that the average TV law-pundit couldn’t muster. But he is the average TV law-pundit. Why embarrass your network this way for a guy who’s not adding much value?

My interview with @JeffreyToobin pic.twitter.com/OPmxut7emX

— Alisyn Camerota (@AlisynCamerota) June 10, 2021