James Comey on 2020: I'm in

Well, that’s surprising. I assumed he’d be spending 2020 in prison.

Consensus on political Twitter as of 3:45 ET is that this is a lame April fool’s gag, but Comey running for president for real would be so on-brand for the hallucinogenic circus that American politics has become in 2019 that I’m gambling it’s serious.

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The “April fool’s” part will be getting everyone to assume it’s a joke except it’s not.

The perfect bookend to American politics from 2016 to 2020 would be Comey running for president on a lark and siphoning off just enough votes from the Democratic nominee to get Trump elected to a second term.

How many photos does this guy have of himself staring off in the distance, anyway? Is he putting together some sort of motivational poster series, or a coffee-table book?

That last one looks like the poster for an uplifting movie about a mentally disabled man who teaches the cynics around him to appreciate the beauty of life.

Who the hell is following him around with a camera? The photos seem too thematically consistent to have been snapped randomly by Comey’s wife while traveling together. The new pic of him in the road is especially inexplicable, as it’s not the sort of shot you’d take while out enjoying a stroll. Either he has a photographer with him periodically for God knows what reason or this big dork is lugging around a tripod and posing for cheesy inspirational shots of his own devising.

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In which case, imagine driving across America and stumbling across James Comey randomly in the middle of the road, fussing with a camera and then posing with his back to it.

My best guess: The road shot is the album cover for a series of solo piano works titled “Norms.”

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Beege Welborn 5:00 PM | December 24, 2024
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