Sure, we can spend a few minutes watching the new "Rogue One" trailer together

To cleanse the palate, gotta find a way to pass the time while we’re waiting for the next October surprise. At the rate we’re going, you’ve got maybe an eight-minute window to enjoy this before the next one.

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There have been various mediocre to outright bad (alas) “Star Wars” movies but never, to my knowledge, a bad “Star Wars” trailer. What would a bad “Star Wars” trailer even look like? The franchise, for the time being, is 99 and 44/100ths percent pure fan service. All you need to do for a preview is hit the usual familiar notes — there’s the Death Star, there are the Storm Troopers, there’s the AT-ST. You know this song. You love this song! The film, in fact, is set as a near-term prequel to the original “Star Wars,” depicting the stealing of the blueprints that would eventually reveal the worst-designed thermal exhaust port in the history of the universe. They’re not even asking you to acclimate yourself to a new era and galaxy before settling into the plot. You know this album! Just settle back and groove as Mary Sue does Mary Sue things.

Just don’t get your hopes up too much. The reshoots were reportedly plentiful.

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Beege Welborn 5:00 PM | December 24, 2024
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