I included a link to this story in the Cruz post, but a prostitute murdering a Supreme Court justice on orders from government spies probably deserves its own thread.

They got the John Edwards story right, didn’t they? That’s all I’ve been hearing today on social media.

In a bombshell world exclusive, The National ENQUIRER has learned that U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia’s death was a highly planned “political assassination” orchestrated by the CIA and carried out by a $2,000-a-night hooker! A top Washington, D.C. source said the Feb. 13 death of the 79-year-old jurist at a remote Texas ranch just 15 miles from Mexico was part of a “shocking conspiracy that tracks back to the CIA and the White House!”

I can’t find the full print version of the story online but this Boing Boing piece from last month includes some details. Why hasn’t Loretta Lynch opened an investigation?

But because Scalia’s family rejected an autopsy the Enquirer assumes a cover-up, reporting that a “2,000-a-night” prostitute employed by the CIA “injected Scalia with a needle filled with poison in his buttocks” in a bid to reshape the Supreme Court.

Let’s think about this for one second. If you are the CIA, why would you employ a hooker – at any price – to kill a Supreme Court justice, when you have legions of trained operatives who could do the task more efficiently? Scalia died at an $800-a-night suite in a Texas ranch, while “just days before” across the border a “CIA spy” was seen visiting a Mexican brothel “looking for a girl to keep an older VIP gentleman company,” says the Enquirer. So now we’re to believe that the CIA not only recruited a hooker as its killer, but went to Mexico to find one, because everyone knows that Mexican border bordellos have the best-trained killer-hookers if you ever need a Supreme Court Justice lethally injected in the backside?

Their source? “An insider at the El Toreo Bar in Ojinaga, Mexico.”

I assume the prostitute has now been assassinated herself, to make sure she never talks. (“House of Cards” fans know how to deal with mouthy hookers with firsthand knowledge of assassinations.) But what about the “insider” from the bar? He’s a loose end that could bring down the entire Obama administration. It’s weird that he’d let the Enquirer spill the beans on where the feds can find him.

Republicans can’t force the DOJ to act but Speaker Ryan can always hold his own hearings. The fact that he hasn’t, I guess, is just further proof that establishmentarians from both parties look out for each other. Meanwhile, here’s Cruz’s campaign manager Jeff Roe taunting Trump on Twitter this afternoon:

https://twitter.com/jeffroe/status/713434556280360962

Trump is taking a short break from campaigning for the moment but that’s probably just because the primaries have slowed down. It’ll be two weeks between Arizona/Utah and Wisconsin and then another two weeks between Wisconsin and New York. Might as well recharge before the big push to Cleveland and the endless headache of wooing delegates. Exit question from a Twitter pal: Why is Trump agnostic about whether the Enquirer’s Cruz story is true when his own spokeswoman, who’s implicated in it, swears it’s 100 percent false as it pertains to her?