After goofing on dopey low-information voters for not knowing who the vice president is, I feel duty bound to confess my own ignorance of civics: Until this very day, when Obama’s proclamation started making the rounds on social idea, I had no idea that “Loyalty Day” was a thing in America. Not only is it, it’s been around for nearly 100 years in various forms. It’s in the U.S. Code and everything, having been inserted there in the late 50s apparently as a nudge to closet commies on May Day during the Red Scare.

It’s a bit unclear to what, exactly, we’re pledging loyalty. To the Constitution? I thought that was what Constitution Day is for. To America itself? I guess you can celebrate independence from the UK on July 4th without feeling loyalty to the U.S., but for most people the latter’s implied by the former. To democracy? There’s no Democracy Day — although one has been proposed, and the UN already encourages member states to celebrate it on September 15th.

Whatever the answer, be sure to irritate all of your libertarian friends by wishing them a “Happy Loyalty Day.” Happy Loyalty Day, Sen. Paul!

In the United States of America, we do not define loyalty as adherence to any single leader, party, or political platform. When we make big decisions as a country, we necessarily stir up passions and controversy. These debates are a hallmark of democracy; they allow us to trade ideas, question antiquated notions, and ensure our Nation’s course reflects the will of the American people. Yet even as we disagree, we remain true to our shared values and our common hopes for America’s future.

On Loyalty Day, we renew our conviction to the principles of liberty, equality, and justice under the law. We accept our responsibilities to one another. And we remember that our differences pale in comparison to the strength of the bonds that hold together the most diverse Nation on earth.

In order to recognize the American spirit of loyalty and the sacrifices that so many have made for our Nation, the Congress, by Public Law 85-529 as amended, has designated May 1 of each year as “Loyalty Day.” On this day, let us reaffirm our allegiance to the United States of America and pay tribute to the heritage of American freedom.

That’s from O’s proclamation, which encourages people to celebrate by displaying the flag or saying the pledge of allegiance. I’m going to celebrate by opening a beer and having a laugh at what Bin Laden’s last few moments of terror must have been like three years ago today. Loyalty Day is Dead Bin Laden Day!

And now, in honor of the occasion, a stroll down memory lane. Will you take the pledge, my friends?