Secret plan to get young imbeciles to sign up for ObamaCare: Call it "brosurance"

I wanted to write a headline like Nick Gillespie’s but this is, alas, a family blog. Libertarians have all the fun.

Click here and feast your eyes on what a bunch of Colorado nonprofits are doing to recruit “young healthies” to the new risk pool. If you’re a young adult, you might consider buying insurance to hedge against the unlikely-but-still-real possibility of a serious illness or car accident. Then again, you might not: Given the premiums you’re looking at on the ObamaCare exchange and the fact that you’re not earning big money, paying the penalty instead might save you hundreds of dollars. Much depends on your finances and a candid appraisal of your own personal risk tolerance. If, though, you’re a hapless moron, the calculus is simpler. Why not fork over a few hundred each month to an insurance company for birth control that would otherwise run you maybe 15 bucks on the low end?

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That douchey Carson Daly lookalike you’ve had your eye on is just a few thousand premium dollars from being yours.

Look at it this way: Anyone who might be receptive to an ad like this probably can’t be convinced to buy insurance with rational arguments. This is the level you need to reach them on. They’re out there, paying $20 to watch “Bad Grandpa” on IMAX 3D and then heading home for a long night of binge-watching “Catfish” reruns. The first rule of advertising: Know your audience. On the other hand, what’s with the facial expressions? How many years do you need to spend in prison to be as eager to get laid as our heroine here seems to be? Although maybe that’s the point. Take another look at these two and imagine the bouncing baby bro they’d produce if they bred. Suddenly a few extra bucks in your premiums to pay for their contraception doesn’t seem so steep, does it?

Here’s my favorite ad, by the way, which targets the crucial “aging lesbian roller-derbier” demographic. In lieu of an exit question, my suggested tagline for an ad in the next campaign: “Pop an extra molly at the club tonight, bro. You’re covered.”

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Beege Welborn 5:00 PM | December 24, 2024
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