Habemus Babam

If you think Ed’s the only blogger here who’s going to milk this “news” for a cheapie post then you don’t know Hot Air, my friends.

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Eight pounds, six ounces. No name yet, but I shall call him Reginald, Viscount of Sandwich.

The baby’s name may be announced when the family leaves the hospital, CNN royal correspondent Max Foster reported. Prince William’s name was announced a few days after birth, his brother Harry’s on departure from hospital.

Some British parents have delayed naming their newborns in recent days in hopes of either copying or avoiding the royal name, he said.

British bookmakers favor the names Alexandra, Charlotte, Elizabeth, Victoria, Grace, James and George. The field is open for both boys’ and girls’ names because royal sources said the parents did not want to know their child’s sex in advance…

Protocol dictates that the first to know about the arrival of the baby would have been Queen Elizabeth II, Prime Minister David Cameron and the governors general of each of the Commonwealth nations — along with the rest of the royal and Middleton families.

Given the longevity of the Windsors and the number of people in front of him in line to the throne, young Reginald won’t get close to power until long after both the U.S. and UK have collapsed and dissolved into warlord-ruled fiefdoms. God save the king liege and his protectorate of Surrey, Kent, the Sussexes, and what used to be known as London.

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By the way, if you’re thinking this isn’t really news, let me give you three reasons why it is. One: It’s an economic stimulus. Hundreds of millions will be spent on royal schlock, certainly in the UK if not in the U.S. as well. If you’re looking for a little goose to the European economy, there you go. Two: The media’s inane oversaturated coverage is perfect cover for the White House and other institutions to dump damaging news of their own. If O’s been waiting for the right moment to let slip that the DOJ won’t be charging Zimmerman after all, now’s the time. And three: If there’s any justice in the world, any shred of good taste left in the American public, we’ll hire our own town crier to announce big state news. All we need is the costume. We’ve already got the perfect guy for the job.

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Update: When you’re a royal, you’re asked to clear a low bar.

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Beege Welborn 5:00 PM | December 24, 2024
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