Via Jim Treacher, 51 agonizing seconds of Carney trying to explain on the fly why Solyndra going bust is a normal win-some-lose-some result when you’re investing in new ventures whereas Bain’s investments going bust is proof that Mitt Romney’s a vampire who enjoys seeing people laid off. There are of course easy distinctions that can be made here, but unfortunately for JC they don’t favor his position. For one thing, Bain evidently did due diligence on the companies it bought instead of rushing them through so that the president of the firm could get a sweet photo op. For another thing, when one of Bain’s acquisitions failed, it wasn’t your taxpayer dollars that went down the toilet with it. Deprived of either of those arguments, here’s the best Carney can do. If any of you manages to translate it into English, leave a note in the comments.

Speaking of embarrassing White House failures — hey, what happened to Attack Watch?