I know what you’re thinking. “If you were jazzed about the bacon milkshake, why wouldn’t you be double jazzed for a big gloppy mess of ice cream and fudge and … pork?” Well, go back and look at the milkshake. No real bacon there, just bacon syrup, fully incorporated and thus perfectly texturally consistent with the rest of the drink. Now go look at this nightmare. It’s a lumpy sea of sickening sweetness — and right there, jutting ominously into the sky like a savory iceberg, is an honest to goodness piece of crispy pig flesh. Nothing goes better with milk and sugar than salted animal fat, right? C’mon. Can’t be good.

Or can it?

I decided to first tackle the large piece of bacon that was stuck in as a counterpoint to the peak of gleaming white soft-serve goodness; this seemed like the best way to get a good feel for the bacon and then slowly dip my toe into the rest of it. The bacon was at room temperature, but was crispy and thick. Fast food bacon generally disappoints me, but this version was definitely not bad: crunchy, smoky, and salty. So sturdy was this piece of bacon that I was easily able to dip the end of it into the cup as I ate it, scooping up the vanilla soft serve and the chocolate and caramel toppings…

All in all, the BK Bacon Sundae was everything that I had hoped it would be, and nothing that I had feared: the bacon stayed crispy throughout, and its smokiness and saltiness powered through even when there was a lot of chocolate and caramel on the spoon. It had the crispy-crunchiness and the ever-so-slight burned flavor that bacon gets as soon as it crosses the border into well-done – but in this application, I believe that is exactly where it needed to be. Even on a few of the pieces that looked fattier than some of the others, there was no awkward chewiness or off-tasting flavor of un-rendered pork fat. I am pleasantly surprised to get to say that it is definitely something I would order again…

Food rating: 8.5 out of 10. And if you follow the last link, you’ll see that it looks much better in the new photos. Nothing lumpy or runny this time. Just cool, creamy dairy deliciousness generously garnished with swine. For freak-show food, it seems downright wholesome, quite unlike this monstrosity cooked up by the sick minds at Pizza Hut UK. Good lord. I know British food is supposed to be terrible but have some dignity, please.

The sundae’s only available in Nashville right now so one of the HA faithful will have to swing by to sample it for the rest of us. Who’s my volunteer?